I don’t talk about business often, but looking back on my first couple months back in biz, there are a few lessons I want to point to.
I had a lot of clients from before I went away renewing with me, but also some new clients signing up.
Of the 4 new clients that signed up with me in November, 3 of them wrote to me in prison.
This blows my mind, because let’s be honest here: if you don’t know someone and they go to jail, writing them in prison is quite a big leap to take. Most people I knew personally felt too awkward to do this! So somebody is only going to do it when they are truly willing to ask for help.
I appreciate that they’re morally aligned with me. But the way I know they’re going to be successful is because they were willing to put themselves out there and act in good faith.
This ability to act in good faith and trust the process is what leads to my most successful clients.
These men had never spoken to me before, yet wrote me in prison. And as soon as I was out, they put faith in me and my ability to help them fix their issues with women, and signed up for coaching.
My clients fall in 2 broad categories when it comes to coaching: they either treat it like a deep, dark secret that they’d need to be tortured to reveal, or they openly mention it to friends as something they did that improved their relationship with women.
The first group is what makes my business hard. People sign up for my email list under fake names and with burner emails. I get it: no one wants to admit they don’t know what they’re doing when it comes to women, despite loneliness and lifelong singledom being a true pandemic in western society right now.
But the problem with the first group is it considers it low-status to get help. They think it’s something to be ashamed of that they couldn’t sort these things out on their own.
After all, a man’s ability to attract women is typically a sensitive subject. Men want to be naturals and figure things out on their own – even though let’s be honest, this is hardly the time period for too much pride about our love lives. We are in a collapsing society; the dating environment has changed so much and so rapidly even just over this past decade, there is almost no chance a man could adapt to it without putting immense thought into learning. It’s a clusterfuck out there – nobody even denies it anymore.
A rare few win the parental lottery and are brought up to naturally develop healthy relationships with the opposite sex. But this is not the reality for most men today. And suffering in silence, trying to white-knuckle your way to a healthy relationship on your own is unlikely to work.
Yes, I’m a dating and relationship coach who is saying it’s not low-status to work with me. It’s not low status to work with anybody who can help you – which is why I’m so open about all the mentors who helped me. What’s low-status is remaining low status; seeking assistance to change that reality as fast as possible simply makes you not-an-idiot.
We need to make society-wide changes to our culture and approach to marriage so this rift starts to repair itself, and I hope to be a part of that positive revolution over the coming years. But the damage is nevertheless deep and it will take time. You can’t wait if you want a healthy love life of your own; it’s up to you to solve this problem yourself now.
So rather than hiding behind the fact that you had a problem, I would encourage you to boast about the fact that you’ve solved one. After all, solving problems is the most masculine pursuit there is. You are conquering reality. And I’d also like to point out it’s attractive to women to be open and authentic about your former struggles – including when it comes to them. It subcommunicates confidence and competence that you “get it now,” it makes you relatable, and it positions you as a leader to other – not a loser.
Anyway, these new clients had humility and faith not only in me, but in themselves. They reached out to a political prisoner dating coach to get help in the most awkward of circumstances. And they will be rewarded for their determination – indeed a few of them already are. And I suspect they will all be in a much better position with women by the time March comes around (that’s when dating tends to *really* pick up on a seasonal basis).
All this is to say… I’m back. This business is well on its way and I’m excited that I can help new men as well as men I already know.
Prices will be going up, and my time will become more sparse in the coming months. With a book, group coaching, an updated course, and another book on the way, my projects will limit the amount of time I have for one-on-one coaching.
Those of you humble enough to admit that you’re not going to solve this problem on your own, and who want as many years as possible filled with love and passion, can apply to work with me below:
