Wanted to piggie back of yesterday’s email while it’s still on people’s minds, and talk about ways women “cheat loyally.”
It’s something people don’t talk too much about — for understandable reasons. It’s still cheating, even if the reasons for it are complex.
But understanding how some of this stuff works on the “deep end” is nevertheless interesting, and can help your discernment.
The first I’ll call the “Army Wife” paradigm.
As a lot of people know, the dark side of military service is the extreme amount of cheating that goes on in those circles.
(In fact, it goes even deeper — to swinging, etc… but that’s for another email… perhaps)
I’m not talking about the emotionally unstable nymphos, however, who split off to sleep with other men the second their husbands fly overseas.
I’m referring to the ones that genuinely miss their men, and at a certain point in the process, become so lonely that they seek some sort of “attraction projection” elsewhere.
They might sleep with a guy, but they’ll fantasize about their husband. Or use it as a proxy.
(This is especially common in scenarios where the husband has recently died — though obviously that’s not exactly cheating)
They will do this through a variety of manners.
Sometimes it’s through similar looks. Other times, through similar personality. Most commonly, however, is through association.
This is indeed one of the more complicated aspects of cheating. Say you and a woman are in love. But for whatever reason, you have to leave — maybe for a considerable amount of time.
Meanwhile your close friend — who spent time with both of you — remains.
Something interesting can happen if your woman is emotionally needy.
She will start to initiate hang-outs with your friend.
Your friend — being close to you, and sharing memories of you — will begin to become a place she projects her attraction.
Fundamentally, she still desires you. But since you’re not around… he becomes the closest thing to you she can find.
This happened to me years back with an ex. We had a whirlwind romance at the end of college, but I was leaving the country for months, and wouldn’t be back permanently until a year.
One of my friends knew her pretty well however through me, and gets along well with girls (he’s a good looking guy, and flirts, but he collects validation rather than notches — he likes his platonic female friendships and doesn’t make moves).
Anyway, I found out — through both parties, as it was consciously innocent — that she started initiating “meet ups” with him.
The first time it happened, I shrugged it off — though I thought it was weird.
Then it happened again. And then they saw a movie together.
Now, we weren’t exclusive, but we were still talking — and quite explicitly. She was shooting me filthy nudes and sharing all sorts of feelings.
So I asked both parties to stop. My friend didn’t need any pressuring as he was starting to feel like it was too much, and was getting strange vibes. She was a little sad but acceded.
It was an early crash-course in female psychology I filed away for later.
Understand, emotionally needy women can do this with any guy if you disappear. But what happens in those cases is the neediness drives her to form a new connection with someone else paying her attention.
In those cases, you will be replaced (though she might drift back to you once you return…)
But when it’s someone close to you that she attaches herself to… it’s not that clear cut.
She might form some degree of connection with your friend. And, let’s say your friend was a scumbag and they cheated, she might feel a bit confused when you returned.
But the dynamic is more in your favor — since he was a proxy for you.
(Not that you would want to take such a girl back)
Anyway, more lessons from the basement of the female mind.
But if you want this information downloaded into your own database, there’s really only two ways.
– Get burned by a lot of women
– Work with me
Theory and examples are all well and good, but you only really learn when someone connects the dots for you, based on stuff happening to you…
And that’s what you’ll get with my on your team.
I don’t simply tell you the best approach in your situation.
I extrapolate so you can see the psychology behind the woman in question… so you can anticipate future moves on her part.
(And these days, I’m rarely wrong)
Go here to apply: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
