Yesterday I talked about the quality vs quantity dilemma with women.
But a reader noticed a potential discrepancy.
To paraphrase:
“Pat, does this mean you no longer believe in harems?”An excellent question — since I wrote an article explaining how to get them — which I will answer presently.
First though, I want to zoom out.
Although high quantity CORRELATES with low quality, the devil is really in the details.
And while I believe there are pretty much always tradeoffs between the two… the degree of tradeoffs can vary considerably.
In other words, you CAN have a harem of high quality girls.
Though, I doubt the highest quality ladies will cotton onto such dynamics.
It really just depends on the girls you bring in, and the nature of your dynamics with them.
When I had a “harem” (aka dating multiple girls all for minimum 1 month), I was dating girls who were all great people.
They were sweet. Intelligent.
Not thots.
But, I knew they weren’t for me.
Which is why (one exception aside) I never dated them longer than 3 months.
Something to consider here, however.
I was a big proponent of harems because I wanted to date multiple women, but I HATED the “quantity” aspects of dating.
I hated the cheap, meaningless one night stands (80% of quick hookups, in my experience).
Some don’t have this revulsion.
But I did.
And harems gave me quantity without compromising too much on quality.
So, I don’t disavow them.
I don’t disavow anything done with honest, mutually consenting intentions, as a matter of fact.
I just want you guys to be aware of what you’re doing.
Lying to yourself is a dangerous thing.
And is the cause of the majority of unhappiness in the romantic scene, methinks.
Because if you don’t know what you want, or why you’re stopping yourself from going after what you want…
Well, you’ll never get it.
You’ll find an (unconscious) excuse to stop it from happening.
Which is where I come in.
I unwire that dissonance.
Get you knowing yourself better.
And so, getting yourself 100% on the same team.
The reason we struggle is because we’re internally divided.
But our power, once our psyche is unified, is truly incredible.
Go here if that’s something you want: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
