As I’ve been investigating personality, the final pillar of attraction,  I’ve come to realize a couple interesting things:

One, your personality plays a pretty big role in who you attract (go figure)

But two, it plays much LESS of a role the more psychologically developed you are.

Interesting, no?

When you’re personality isn’t developed, you tend to become attracted to people that “fill in” your weak spots, even if you guys conflict on certain levels.

This is the kind of “chemistry” that can hit HARD. It’s a classic case of opposites attracting.

The more your personality becomes integrated, however, the less your personality “needs” anybody — and the less it needs any specific personality type. Once you’re integrated, you no longer search for someone who completes your, rather, you simply look to be with someone you like and who shares your values / way of life.

Getting to this level, however, ain’t no easy task — because all of us have weak spots in our personality, and few of us develop them… particularly in a timely manner.

Indeed, this is a major reason why those who wait to get married tend to have happier marriages. Their personalities are more developed, ergo, they are getting together for less “impulsive” reasons.

Anyway, why do I bring this all up? Well, partially because I find it interesting… and will be expanding upon it in an article soon.

But also because it’s brought to light the importance of developing your own type… which is CRUCIAL if you want to have “healthy” attraction with women.

And perhaps even more importantly, CONFIDENCE.

I am truly coming to believe that type development is at the center of feeling good about yourself.

It certainly has been for me.

Now, how do we determine “type?”

Good question.

I don’t think you *need* to learn any system in particular, as they all point at least SOMEWHAT to what you need to improve.

But I’ve found MBTI to be by far the most effective — especially when they go into the role of cognitive functions (introverted sensing, extroverted feeling, etc.)

We’ll talk about that another time, but for now I highly recommend you do some research and try to figure out which type you are.

This is a basic starter for type descriptions: site explores the next level, type functions:

There is also C.S. Joseph on Youtube.

But the best resource I can recommend on MBTI by far Adam on Twitter.

Wherever you go though, I highly recommend you explore this part of yourself.

You don’t need to know your type to know you’re good or bad at something… but you DO need it to put those gifts and deficiencies in the broader context of your personality, and to target their development most effectively.

And if you want some help with typing?

Fortunately for you, I do this with my clients.

Apply here:

– Pat

PS Avoid the temptation to assign yourself to a type you think is “cool.” Try to be as honest and critical on yourself as possible. MBTI is only helpful if you figure out the right one…