Put out a tweet the other day that got some mixed response:
Unsurprisingly, much of the pushback was from women (including an executive coach, the epitome of male energy — big surprise!)
But honestly the main reason people got upset with this tweet is because they misunderstood what I was trying to convey.
For instance, there were some comments about “women having a second chakra too” and how women experience kundalini energy (essentially, women have a sexual center and experience internal flow of sexual energy). I know this! But this doesn’t contradict with what I am saying.
What I am saying is that male sexual energy has a FOCUS to it that builds and emerges NATURALLY on its own WITHOUT PROMPTING from the male genitals / second chakra.
It begins inside the man, and is expressed outwards in SEX or ACTION. This is why boys are more energetic than girls by and large, and why the arguments for semen retention and sexual transmutation exist. It allows a man to conserve his own energy and using it to higher purpose, rather than simply expelling it.
This male energy is “yang energy” (think wang energy).
Women of course have energy inside them as well and can feel it move in them. But female “yin energy” is something “drawn in” from the outside. It does not exist largely by innate impulse. It is felt as a consequence of emotion, environment, and yes spiritual awakening.
(A “kundalini awakening” is simply a woman getting access to cosmic energy that she is then able to channel and move throughout her body. But it comes into her.)
The female second chakra acts as a receiver, drawing in energy from around her. The male second chakra acts as an emitter, pushing it out towards to world. This doesn’t mean the female second chakra lacks energy — it could have more energy than the man. It simply means that a woman’s sexual energy is more strongly influenced by her environment than a man’s.
This shouldn’t be controversial. We know women take hours/days to “get in the mood” emotionally, and even when in a sexual situation they still need foreplay to get fully prepared. Moreover the womb is a physical receiver — why would the energy be any different?
Women struggle to feel “in the mood” because they are either not being sexually stimulated by their environment, or they are blocking access to this energy coming into them. Indeed, this two are strongly linked, as a woman exposed to negative energy is going to learn to block energy out. This is why so many damaged women have such a hard time surrendering to a man, and why many of these same women — to the extent they even care about sex at all — will begin to rely on mechanical stimulation (clit-focused, usually with a vibrator) to get off. There is no full body or multiple orgasms going on, because they lack the energy to generate it.
Contrast this with men, whose big sexual issue tends to an inability to handle the energy within them, expelling it impulsively, and then feeling depleted afterwords. Men look at porn to get release of their energy; women read romance novels to draw sexual energy into them. A woman’s fantasy and emotions is what allows this energy into her, which is why women by and large have far bigger sexual imaginations than men.
The point of all of this on a practical level is simple for you.
In order to get a woman aroused, she needs to be RECEPTIVE to you.
And to get her receptive you must not only be a desirable man, but you must make her feel SAFE so she can open up and allow all of this sexual energy to flow into her.
Making her feel safe is not just about making sure she is financially provided for. It’s not even just about physically protecting her. It’s about making her feel emotionally CARED FOR and indeed loved. The more love she feels from a desirable man, the more her own sexual energy will get supercharged.
The caveat with this is that your love cannot come from a position of weakness, or from agenda, lest you deplete your desirability.
You must be GROUNDED and understand the nuances of comfort and desire to truly turn her on.
And guess what?
Reading platitudes on Twitter will NOT give you this sophistication.
The only way to master this art form is trial and error.
And the only way to remove as much error from this process as possible is to work on it with a coach.
Those of you who are serious may apply here: www.patstedman.com/application