Was inspired by a great but ephemeral tweet the other day (user deleted, so presume he does not want me to mention him directly).
The basic gist of it though was that he would get girls to follow his profile by saying stuff like:
“No college educated girls, community college OK. Also no Italian women (no hate, just had bad experiences with them)”
Italian women with a college education would contact him. Which was exactly the kind of girls he wanted.
Now, I know this might be confusing for some of you. Because you’ve probably heard that the reason you polarize girls is to push away girls who don’t have the things you mention you want. Not to draw them in.
But the truth is that polarity doesn’t always work in a clear cut way like that. Girls want to be desired, and many view it as a challenge to make you desire them. And so by pushing them away, you only draw them towards you.
In the example above, for instance, the qualifying (polarizing) criteria are college education and a niche ethnicity.
Both of these criteria in practice act like highly effective negs. Not wanting girls with a college education triggers the girls who have it, as these girls view it as an asset. They will thus have some level of playful indignation as to why he wants “less smart” women. It starts off tension that leads to playful banter.
The “no italians” comment is perhaps even more effective. It’s not an aesthetic argument that could be taken too personally; he said he’s had “bad experiences” with Italians, and there are tons of other mediterranean girls who look similar to them. So this REALLY makes Italian women curious why he doesn’t want them. What were the bad experiences? Can they change his mind?
This creates more tension, and ends up pulling these women towards him; their ego needs to be validated by “proving him wrong.” Plus he shows confidence and experience with women, yet they can’t figure him out — he is mysterious, and they are hooked.
Yet another aspect of the effectiveness of this is subtle: the phrasing.
Singling out one group for rejection makes the women in that group come forward. But if he had instead chosen that group and rejected the rest it would have a different effect.
Saying “Italian girls only,” for instance, is also polarization. And if his profile were otherwise solid, it would indeed draw some Italian girls in. Yet the energy would be different — he would be using commonality (comfort) to attract rather than difference (desire).
Which would affect the types of women he drew in. “Good girls” would be more likely to be drawn to the comfort, “bad girls” to the desire. And because his phrasing was more broadly exclusive, he would create less pull on non-italian girls to message him.
The implications of this are of course very important.
Because you may want to polarize some variables for desire, and others for comfort.
Let’s say for instance if a guy was serious about meeting a Christian girl online, but had a thing for shorter girls and latinas. He might say “Christian girls only, no Latinas (unless taller than 5’6’’, had bad experiences with short girls).”
This is likely to bring in genuine Christians, but to get shorter latinas responding.
Anyway, some stuff for you to play around with.
And if you want a much deeper understanding of concepts like these, and how to use them to attract women?
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