Put out this viral tweet about a month ago, and the amazing Dean Abbott asked me to elaborate:

No surprise, it appears everyone in the manosphere understands that men give structure to women. Women are chaotic — women are nature. Men are order, they provide them with the required guidance to help them grow. Like civilization, they build — physically and psychologically.

But how do women help men? What does it mean by “open them up,” and how does this make them better?

Well, quite simply, the problem with men is that they are rigid. You can see this in fundamental masculine behavior, which is about rules, discipline, reliability, etc.

A low-level man views these things all one-dimensionally and places high esteem on following them “by the book,” just like a low-level woman dismisses / rationalizes them away based on her mood (the behavior many red pill men call “solipsism”).

So you have the tendency for men to adhere to a rigid structure that doesn’t evolve and recognize grey. It’s a way of “law giving” that is in many ways absent of love and life — a masculine intelligence without a feminine wisdom.Which is where the feminine comes in. Because the feminine is the heart, not the mind, it forces the masculine to reconfigure in a healthier, more fulfilling and effective way.

A very canned example of this would be the standard “father vs mother” stereotyping when it comes to a bad child.

The (distorted) masculine father would say “you stayed out too late, and so now you’re grounded for the next month.” That’s one thing if the boy did it because he didn’t care… but what if he was out late because something happened to his friend?

This stereotyped feminine mother would intervene privately and tell the father to go easy on him, because the sentence didn’t fit the crime. There was a context.

Many of you guys might look at this and ask how this is feminine, as they wouldn’t be that rigid. But that’s because most men (yes, including you) have feminine energy in them. It is part and parcel with having empathy.

The question of your masculinity isn’t whether or not its there, but how much you let it impact your decision-making. Empathy is good, and it allows a better configured structure — but too much of it and the structure might collapse altogether.

It’s why we call men who can be manipulated into acting only off of emotion not wise, but weak. And it’s why we associate manipulation with women, as their test of a man — aka masculinity — is how much structure can they get away with degrading.

Take a look at the big picture. We are in a “feminized society” because we are a society without boundaries and without consistency. It’s why the social structure is falling apart, and it’s why until men rise out of their slumber, things will get worse. The good news is that this is a question of when not if; such distortions cannot remain long. Nature always seeks to rebalance itself.

So how does this play out on a personal level?

A man falls in love with a woman, and he changes.

Often other men view this as a bad thing. And sometimes it is — sometimes, as noted above, the man loses all structure. He falls into depolarization. He loses his edge, he becomes needy — and eventually — he loses the woman.

But guess what?

Most men won’t improve in any meaningful way until they’re broken, and the thing that breaks most men is women.

Which is why all those lost boys of the red pill would do well to stop hating women and start thanking them. If a woman hadn’t broken them, they wouldn’t have grown. They wouldn’t have woken up. The woman in her infinite wisdom shattered him because on a level beneath her consciousness she knew he needed it.

So that if and when he picks himself up, he will rebuild himself stronger.

(It’s why I love working with men, because while most men avoid change at all costs, a broken man who is willing to rebuild can become something magnificent.)

And understand: this breaking doesn’t have to be a break up. You don’t need to be blindsided by an affair, or “divorce raped.”

Women do this throughout our relationships with them by demanding more love from us. They insist we bring our full presence and heart. They argue with us and fight with us and annoy us — and in the process of this, open us.

They give us our gifts, and we give them theirs.

The problem?

There is SO much propaganda today — and not just from the mainstream, but from the reactionary red pill itself — that many guys have come to the point where they don’t perceive ANYTHING a woman gives as a gift if it’s not sex and other services.

They perceive any change a woman affects on them as wrong.

This is FEAR masquerading as strength. It is FORCE pretending to be power.

And it is not my cup of tea.

But I’m on a different journey — to show guys that there are more options than being controlled by women or controlling them.

I deprogram them and take them out of the false dichotomy — to where happy and fulfilling relationships actually exist.

If you want my help changing your own life, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application

– Pat