Wanted to regale you guys with a little synopsis of a low quality show I watched recently (aren’t they all these days).

Series was about Mary Queen of Scots — a famous historical figure who had claim to the Scottish throne during the time of Elizabeth, and was ultimately killed by the English to prevent her from taking power.I’m sure at some point in the show the above happened. But I didn’t get that far.

I was only got to the first two episodes, when she was in a complicated love story with French dauphin (heir to the throne), in whose family’s “protective” custody she was staying at.

(I say this in quotes, because not all the family was trying to protect her! How dramatic!)

Anyway, who cares? I’ll get to the point.

The dauphin is a classic pretty-boy who is a bit of a wimp. Seductive in the sense that he has power and looks yet compliments women. He gets them to feel like “they’re the only one.

But the dauphin also has a half-brother, Sebastian. Sebastian is a bastard, so he lives on the outskirts of royal life (the dauphin’s mother obviously hates him).

Sebastian isn’t an unattractive guy persey, but he’s not “handsome.” He lacks status in royal circles being a bastard.

Yet he has game. He makes fun of women, and shows a playful disdain of Mary. He’s also a man of action, compared to his spoiled brother who is more of a charmer and skilled with words.

Why do I bring this all up?

Because they show two totally different types of men… BOTH of whom are successful with women.

A dichotomy which really showcases what I’ve said for a long time now about the dynamic between Preselection and Persona.

If you have high Preselection, like the heir to the throne, you are going to get women by ELEVATING their egos. You are going to want to tell them “pretty little lies.” Too much teasing is going to affect their self-esteem and damage your chances of getting them invested. Your Persona must be muted, or they will think you’re cruel.

But if your Preselection is LOWER than a woman’s — like Sebastian’s — then your game needs to be totally different. It needs to shatter her perceptions of superiority by taking her down a notch. Your Persona must be loud; you need to create an emotional impression, or she will think of you like a friend or even a servant.

Please internalize the above as there is maybe no better lesson to be learned in Game.

You CANNOT simply “plug and play” techniques or approaches without taking into consideration the context and dynamics. The micro depends upon the macro.

So why don’t guys do this?

Simple, really.

They don’t know how. They can’t perceive this context because they lack experience. Trying to calibrate for it overwhelms them.

“Plug and play” in contrast is “easy” — even if it is inconsistent in its effectiveness.

Which is why most guys will stop there.

And then wonder why they blew things with great girls when they “followed all the rules”

Oh well.

You cut corners, you get shoddy results. And you miss opportunities.

What to do?

Well, you have two options.

You do the above but do it for a long time and constantly consider the impact of all the random variables. You make mistake after mistake but are so engaged in the process of learning you gradually start to figure things out. Might take 5 years, might take 10.


You can work with someone who has already done all of that and can give you the same level of awareness in a year or less.

Yep, the latter costs money.

So it’s up to you to decide how important your time and being able to attract and keep a high-quality woman is.

If you decide saving 5 years if worth paying 5k, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application

– Pat

PS Check out this Dating/Relationship periscope I just uploaded to YouTube: 

Compliance, Prenups and Women Who Don’t Want Kids