Ok, let’s be fair before I go into this.
We all know the manosphere has been a “net benefit” to the community of guys out there.
It’s shown men how to look better, make money, and be attractive. It’s even beginning to teach some higher level spiritual lessons, and build the leaders — both of families and society — in the future.
But when it comes to women in particular, there’s a subtle issue. One you can only really tell in subcommunication.
What is this that I speak of?
The focus on men.
Now wait wait wait Pat, what do you mean by this. Do you mean we should be a more “inclusive” space, and talk about women’s issues?
Not in the macro sense, no. Though I think it’s a wonderful thing a parallel community of women forming around “the sphere” is doing just that. The sexes rise and fall together.
But I’m more talking us men considering how women think romantically. How they feel.
Not even necessarily out of altruistic reasons, but because not doing so leaves us blind.
Take for example the “burden of performance.”
Many men consider this a cardinal “red pill truth.” If you don’t understand this, then you have failed intersexual dynamics 101.
I get where this comes from. Men have their hierarchy, and have to “rise through the ranks” to get female attention.
But like all “truths,” it’s one to hold lightly. Because when you turn the “burden of performance” into an automatic filter… guess what…
Every time a woman doesn’t respond to you the way you want, you will feel as if you failed some test.
Which is unfortunately the mindset of many a manosphere dude.
You are alpha only to the extent a woman responds to you.
And this is particularly the case when it comes to sex.
Now look… I’m not being naive here. If you can’t turn women on, women are not going to treat you like an “alpha male” lover.
But it also takes away a few very relevant factors, which are:
– Each woman is different, with different sex drives
– The woman’s personal self-worth and self-perceived attractiveness
When you are picking up a girl out of nowhere, fantasy and novelty might override these things.
But over time a baseline emerges, and shifts can occur. Maybe it’s months, maybe it’s years; maybe it’s hormonal.
Point is this…
Don’t assume that YOU are the problem if there are sexual issues in your relationship.
Date enough women and you understand how they respond sexually has in many ways MORE to do with them than it does with you. And by personalizing their response like a sad puppy… or by being “fake alpha” to try and pretend you’re something you’re not… you often only end up making the situation worse.
The good news?
There ARE things you can do to change these relationships.
Some involve inner work; some work within the relationship itself.
And both of which are in my area of expertise.
If you want my assistance, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application