Something I’ve been thinking about after noticing some drama on the Twitter TL is how truly vindictive women can be when they don’t get their way.
“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” is a famous saying for a reason. You need to be careful at the lengths a woman will go to get back at a man… particularly if a woman is what we would call “low-vibration” or “low self-esteem.” These women depend men to make them feel good about themselves — and if men don’t give them energy, these women will take it. If hurting you gets them their fix, they will do it.
So how does this look in practice?Very often, getting back at a man involves some sort of vandalism. They’ll destroy your car, steal shit, maybe attack your new girl. Perhaps they’ll accuse you of rape or abuse that you didn’t commit. Character assassination is always a popular choice.
But the reason I bring up this topic today is because there is another layer women will occasionally go to in order to “win.”
And that’s sleeping around… particularly with your friends or your enemies.
Women do this for a very good reason: their exes tend to take it very personally. It’s a sign of disrespect to him — “you just lost something that was yours to someone you hate” or “your friend stole what was yours.” It’s designed to create anger, humiliation, and to attempt to undermine a man’s support network.
I’ve seen guys really get bent out of shape with this. Indeed, it’s something all some clients can talk about when they first come to me, after a particularly bad breakup.
But I’d reframe this issue gentlemen… and for a very important reason:
When a woman is out slutting-around, particularly with men you know, it’s because she is broken.
Very often, it’s a response to losing you… something that makes sense of course when you’ve left her.
(Though note the irony in that she tries to make you “miss her” by degrading herself and diminishing her value)
But very often she’s ALSO in this state of vindictiveness when SHE is the one who left… and when you did “nothing wrong.”
Crazy I know… but let me explain.Women are drawn to men who have high energy, high vibration, and who are all-around positive and desirable.
But if a woman doesn’t feel great about herself, at a certain point being in that relationship will actively make her feel WORSE about herself… because your “goodness” and quality is shining a light on all the ways she is bad and broken.
The result is that these women end up being incredibly cruel to those who have treated them well. They actually begin to hate these men. Because the experience of these men, while in some ways amazing, is something they know they don’t deserve… meaning being treated well only amplifies their low self-esteem.
And so they do terrible things to these men, hurt and humiliate them, to push them away.
From one perspective perhaps.
But there’s another I’d consider if I were you:
That these women are actually GOD SENDS to us. That they are simply teachers… and that their revenge is a gift.
Because the way these women act reminds us of our own value, and that we should not be trying to save damaged women. That we deserve better, and we should be choosing better.
These women are abusing us FOR OUR OWN GOOD. To send us a message:
“Stay away from us. The signs were there, you shouldn’t have come here, but you ignored them… and now you’ve paid for it.”
It is a form of tough love.
One unfortunately most men don’t take to heart.
Because rather than realize these women did them a favor, and offered them a true look at themselves… a chance to LEVEL UP… instead they pine after them. They seek out MORE abuse.
Which of course, they will receive in spades, until they learn the lesson.
What’s the takeaway here?
Namely, beware of the dark side of women. But don’t hate it.
Because if you’ve experienced it, you needed to in order to grow.
And if you want help internalizing these lessons, and healing from them?
Apply to work with me here: www.patstedman.com/application
Making lemonade out of lemons with women is what I do…