I wanted to give a little addendum, a little nuance if you will to the past email if you will.
Because while it is true that being carefree — of eliminating shame to create desire — has ENORMOUS erotic power with women…
It’s worth pointing out that a woman’s willingness to act on that desire depends on the CONTEXT.
And one of the biggest things that determines that context is whether or not you will be accepted in her social environment.
And what leads to social acceptance in most cases?
Whether the man meets social expectations.
Which is why in many ways money DOES matter.
But the key here, is that it mostly matters demographically… which includes both age and sub-culture.
A 20 or even 24 year old guy can bring a hot girl over and literally have a mattress on the floor with a blanket — nothing else — and score without problem.
But if that guy is ten years older it’s a different story… 20 years older, barely tenable. And 30 years older, impossible.
Which is why it’s frustrating to listen to people spout off “universal rules.”
Attraction has a CONTEXT.
Where are you relative to other men in your demographic?
What’s the setting?
Are there other people in the setting observing?
Questions like these are ESSENTIAL to knowing how to proceed.I was listening to Bronze Age Pervert’s podcast the other week, and he mentioned being in a cafe with some beautiful Brazilian girls, who were giving their mother flowers for her birthday.
BAP noted that “appropriate game” in that context would be to have bought a flower for the girls’ mother.
And he is 100% right in this assessment — even though doing such a thing in other contexts would be “cringe.”
All game is based on expectations, because expectations are the setting that your “game” is supposed to maneuver in.
Figuring out the expectations is RECON, executing the appropriate game is tactics.
So understand that you can’t look at any of this stuff one-dimensionally.
College kids don’t need to have a “sweet pad” and from a hook up perspective, such things can even work against them.
Many of the hottest girls that guys have hooked up with have been in dorms and crappy (post)-college shared apartments and houses.
Because at that stage of their lives, the girls feel no shame about hooking up with a guy who has a sink filled with dirty dishes, nasty old couches, etc.
She isn’t expecting anything of you, she is there to FUCK.
But as time goes on her calculation changes.
If you’re in your 30s and beyond living in such a state, she’s going to wonder what loser she is spending time with.
And when you compound that with her likely shifting expectations based on her age, and what she is actually screening men for, the requirements start to change.
Finally, this isn’t just about age and stage of life.
It’s also about your unique communities.If you’re an artist, and hooking up with artistic girls, your apartment need not be very refined. You can get away with a little “slumminess” so long as there is also some bohemian aesthetic going on. And you can get away with it for longer.If you’re on Wall Street though, your pad better be as refined as your suit.
Anyway, I understand this all works “in theory” for many of you.
But what about your unique situation? How can you gauge what matters and what doesn’t?
Well, that’s why I do coaching my friends.
Because I can provide all this insight calibrated for YOU.
So that you can fix what’s holding you back, not what’s unnecessary.
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application