I see a lot of weird things on twitter, but a tweet from the other day was particularly amusing:

Guy farts, plays with a street bird, begs a girl to buy him cigarettes and other things because he’s “broke” on their first date. 

Understandably, she’s a bit creeped out.

Or is she?

It’s easy to take these comments at surface value.

“OMG this guy was so weird, lol”

But there’s what a girl says, and what a girl DOES.

When I read this tweet I was suspicious, and looked further.

And what did I find out?

This girl didn’t simply DO everything this guy asked, but she went on another date with him.

Moreover, it seems VERY likely that she hooked up with him… and it’s not clear WHO ended this dynamic.

So who’s really the strange one here?

Reminds me of a story I shared on this list about a year and a half ago.

I was down in Australia, hanging out with my sister-in-law and her friends. And one of them was telling me about this “bizarre” guy she was dating who, among other things, was addicted to chewing raw garlic.

I know, I know… there are health benefits to this. But as someone who loves garlic and occasionally indulges in a pizza that is covered in garlic cloves, I can tell you eating a lot of garlic makes you smell like SHIT. It’s a trade-off.

And this guy wasn’t just eating them compulsively throughout the day, he was waking up in the middle of the night to munch on them.

Weird guy right?

Except how did the girl know he did this?

Because she was at his place at 3AM FUCKING him.

I listened to her make jokes about all of this stuff, laugh about how fucked up this guy was. And yet in the end her main complaint was that he wasn’t emotionally available to date more seriously.

I want you lads to really internalize the lessons here.

The first:

Whenever you hear a sob story from a woman about a man, remember that she co-created this tragedy… and may have even ENJOYED the drama of it.

This is especially true when she has been a “repeat customer” with said guy.

When she says “he did this stuff to me for years, it was terrible” or “he was the biggest asshole I ever dated, I hated him.”

Don’t forget that the girl was not only with him for all those years, but that they were having sex throughout it.

This is a crucial part of developing discernment. When a woman mentions situations where she was a victim, or was in all of these “crazy” situations with abusive or strange men… ask yourself why the past keeps repeating for her.

It’s almost a guarantee you are dealing with a woman with ISSUES.

And second:

Remember you can do whatever you want with most women so long as you hold frame.

Indeed, you might say that there is a certain strange power to making absurd requests of women, because women it’s not only a pattern disrupt, and dominant, but they are not used to it.


Guys struggle with women not primarily because they’re weird, but because they care too much about what women think.

They hide who they are, or try to placate. They try to come across as the perfect guy… and fail.

Meanwhile grungy mentally ill artist-types who have all sorts of disgusting habits and pathological neuroses are getting laid and even paid by women.

Sad if you think about it like this.

But there is some good news:

You don’t have to be a freak to turn around your fortunes with women.

You just need to rewire you brain so you interact with them differently.

You need to develop a deep, unshakable frame — to lean into and trust your personal power.

How to do this?

Awareness and action.

And the best way to acquire the former and get accountability on the latter is to work with me.

Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application

– Pat