One of the key things you NEED to understand if you’re ever going to succeed with women is that attention is everything to them.
It’s what they chase. To the extent they care about wealth, it’s because money grants them more attention. Diamonds — attention. Fashion — attention.
Attention gets to the heart of the female identity — as an object of desire.
Goldmund understood this implicitly with his book, Camera Game. The camera is intoxicating to women. They become the focus of attention. It’s why instagram is 70% women, and women almost across the board are obsessed with it.
<Slide into her DMs… the new version of “give her attention”>
And so although it’s undoubtably true women can be overwhelmed, or even made uncomfortable by this role at times… take it away from her and you will see that the complaints are based on a finickiness or satiation rather than actual distaste.
You see, with women not all attention is equal.
Which is what I want to go into today with you fellows:
How VALUABLE is your attention to her?
This concept will be fleshed out in more details soon in a blog post, as an email cannot fully do it justice.
But to give you gist…
You need to think of your attention as currency.
And you need to think of yourself as a central bank, whose job is to protect its value.
(Well, not our central bank, but you get the picture)
Your attention is like a coin. Is it 100% gold, or have you debased it?
Countries that are doing shitty start to devalue their currency. Guys are similar. Act like a bitch and your attention will buy less and less things (aka sex + feminine behavior).
And not only will it buy less, but your “population” (woman) will start to complain more. Because attention that used to be worth a week’s groceries now doesn’t even get you through Wednesday.
I’m speaking in metaphors here, but I’m hoping you get the idea.
This is the vicious spiral guys get into, especially in relationships. They cheapen the value of their attention, which leads to more demands for attention. The more the guy gives, the less it’s enough for her. Until eventually she realizes, like in Zimbabwe or Weimar Germany, the attention isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on. And she leaves.
Which leads us to the essence of the question:How do you increase your “attention’s” value?
Simple, but not easy.
First, make sure, while giving your woman her cut, you don’t overindulge her.
Understand: few mature exceptions aside, a woman will take as much of a high value guy’s attention as she can get. She doesn’t THINK about how this will diminish the experience for her. She wants it.
As a guy, you need to give your woman attention — not doing this is abuse — but don’t make her fat on it. Quality is more important than quantity.
But second, and the real heavy lifting:
Work on the Three Pillars of Attraction: Preselection, Persona, and Personality.
THIS is the stuff that dictates how much she perceives you attention should be worth. Because her perception of you is based on your frame. Thus how other women view you affects how she views you… how you make her feel does too… but most importantly, how you view YOURSELF.
So, how to build these pillars up?
I’m sure you can do some reading and put some work into it.
You’ll get there if you’re persistent enough.
Or, you can save some time and aggravation and do the smart thing.
The thing I’ve done multiple times over, and every guy who’s really gotten to the “top” has done…
Work with someone who can guide you.
Mentors, coaches, gurus… whatever you want to call them. THEY speed the process up dramatically, because not only do they hold you accountable to YOUR goals… not only do they show you exactly what you need to do… but they rewire your brain to think more like them.
Which is why when people ask me: “what books should I read on this?”
Reading is good. I’ve read a lot.
Lot of guys love playing small ball. That’s their prerogative.
But if you want to change fast, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application