Quick little story I wanted to share with you guys.

As many of you know, there’s been a few ripples of problems in the UK with cold approaching. Two court cases are ongoing right now, involving guys who made women uncomfortable during their approach.

(For what it’s worth, while the one involving a young anxious kid is a travesty, the other one — an Arab guy from Scotland who approached underaged girls with lines like “I just got back from Ukraine and banged 30 prostitutes, but you turn me on even more,” followed by stalking and insults — looks pretty justified)

Anyway, this climate has not deterred one of my incidentally UK-based clients, who has been doing some cold approaching the last few weeks to test his mettle.

The results, as they always are when starting off, have been mixed.

Of the 20 or so women he’s approached, he got one number (which flaked). Though many of the other interactions were positive, just needed to practice transitioning, etc.

(If you think you can just jump into cold approaching and grab models of the street, you’re crazy… this is a specialized skill set and takes a lot of concentrated effort to become elite at)

One gorgeous woman he approached the other day, however, threw him for a loop.

He ran out in front of her, as one does with a street stop, and put his hands out towards her, beckoning her to halt, and began to dish out his low-investment compliment…

This woman, however, simply looked at him and brushed right past him.

He was deflated… not only a rejection, an embarrassing one.

But after a few steps, she abruptly paused, turned around, and faced him. She was clearly affected when she began to speak:

“You know what!”

My client braced himself. It was every cold-approacher’s worst nightmare: he was about to be chewed out in public for being a weirdo and a creep by a beautiful, confident woman.

Except what followed was not what he expected.

“You know what! That’s EXACTLY how I met my husband 10 years ago. You’re doing a great thing, keep it up!”

Little bit of a plot twist, eh?

I share this with you for some very important reasons.

First, always remember when you get “blown off” by a girl… you have no idea what is actually going through her head.

Maybe she’s late to get somewhere, maybe she’s taken, maybe SHE is the one who is shy… and is going to be kicking herself later.

Point is, don’t assume. If you are out to give love, if your intentions are good… you can be sure a lot if not most of the “failed attempts” have other factors at play than yourself.

But the big one is #2.

Because it’s important to remember, in spite of all of the clown-world programming, that there are many sweet, feminine, functioning women out there in the real world.

And that abandoning love and romance because you’re afraid of these bad eggs giving you a hard time doesn’t make you “wise” or “woke.”


Yeah I know, pretty aggressive, huh?

But I’m tired of watching the incel irony bros and the middle aged MGTOWs preach doom and gloom.

These people are literally addicted to things being bad.

They ENJOY it on an unconscious level.

Because it gives them a justification to stop trying.

Look, trauma is no joke. And I know many of you have had some rough experiences growing up.

But the war over your future is won and lost in your mind.

You either believe your life will improve… or you don’t.

And if you don’t?

There’s nothing I or anyone else can do to help you.

You have predetermined your fate based on your attitude.

Sucking with women isn’t the problem. I sucked BAD with women when I started this out.

It’s believing that you can’t change that marks you for defeat.

I always knew I would make it. I knew I HAD to make it.

And since there was no option but to go forward… I put on a good face about it. I ALWAYS believed, even when I had to lock myself in my room for days because I was so socially anxious.

How about you? Do you believe?

If you don’t… don’t bother reaching out. I don’t throw pearls before swine.

But if you do…

Perhaps you should apply to work with me.

No, I won’t do the work for you. YOU need to show up and take action to change your life.

But I will show YOU how to do it faster and better.

I will train your mind and awareness so you are stronger and smarter.

You know the saying:

When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

If you’re ready, here’s the link: www.patstedman.com/application

– Pat