Gonna cut straight to the chase.I’m tired of hearing a phrase uttered all over the “relationships advice” world.

A phrase everybody THINKS they want.

But, actually ends up only making them miserable.

The magic little statement?

“Stop having fights!”

Pretty crazy to hate on that, right?

Who in their everloving mind would want to have more fights?

Well, me.

And I’m going to tell you why.I’ve used this expression with some new clients who have come to me recently with damaged relationships.

But when it comes to your psychology you need to look at yourself as a sword.

Unfortunately, most of you are pretty fucked up swords.

Brittle in some places, dull in others.

Maybe overall disfigured.

But it’s not your fault bros.

When you were growing up a lot of fucked up stuff happened.

Mom and dad divorced. Father was weak. Mother coddled.

Father abused you.

Mother abandoned you.

The kids at school bullied and isolated you.

You didn’t have any friends.

You were fat. Small. Skinny.

You get where I’m going here…

No one makes it through life without damage. So you are a fucked up, twisted piece of metal when you get out of the furnace of childhood.

Forged in all the wrong places, in all the wrong ways.

Which is why the mantra that you “don’t want fights” in a relationship is some of the worst advice you can EVER get.

Relationships and their fights are some of the BEST things you can ever have happen to you.

And the more of them you get, the better.


Because relationships fights create a “new furnace” that you can MELT and reconfigure your shitty little scrap metal psyche.

They are HOT environments where all those structural weaknesses can be fixed.

Indeed, there are few things in life that even come close to the alchemical potential of a romantic relationship. War and entrepreneurship are the ONLY ones that compare.

Everything else, including any introspection you do on your own, is a half-measure… akin to studying weapon smithing in a textbook instead of actually doing it.

Which is why for the average person relationships are the most powerful mirror you have unto yourself, and relationship conflicts are the crucial scenarios where you have enough tension to actually change who you are.

It is a contract between two people to forge each other.

All fights are is the process.


I don’t want to get carried away with the romanticism here.

Fights suck to actually be in. They contain within them ENORMOUS amounts of tension… and this is tough stuff to manage regularly.

So, let me be clear.

I DON’T want you fighting all the time.

Not because it’s bad, but because it’s inefficient.

Fighting all the time is the sign that you and your partner are bad psyche-smiths.

You SUCK at forging people.

So you have to keep stoking the fire, trying over and over again.

Inefficient if you ask me.

Better to get that sword reshaped as fast as possible, no?

So you can get out of the fire and start to enjoy the relationship and life.

But if you don’t have the tools… well it’s not likely to happen.

You’ll spend years, maybe even decades bickering over stupid things…

Or perhaps stop communicating all together… Or even worse: start over with someone new… only to repeat the same patterns.

Easy way to waste a life.

But there is a better option:

Work with me.

I understand how to have the RIGHT conversations and conflicts with women to transform both her and you.

To take a relationship from loveless and resentful… to passionate and devoted.

And I know cause I haven’t only done it with countless clients… I’ve done it for myself.

No, there are no guarantees the same will occur for you.

(it takes 2 people to want to change, and I can only guarantee I’ll change YOU if you show up)

But if you want a chance at similar transformation, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application

– Pat