One of the things I talk about with my business coach quite regularly is selling.
You see… like many “normal” people I grew up with the believe that selling was wrong. That selling was manipulative… you were “forcing” people into a sale.
But, as I’ve learned in time from all the sales people who pulled me across the finish line into great programs… selling can in fact be a GOOD thing. You should sell yourself to people who would benefit from buying from you.
Selling is a tool that can be used for good or evil, nothing more.Makes sense, to be honest.
Especially given my experience with dating.
A lot of guys who don’t flirt with women, do so because they feel like they will somehow be too pushy or offend a girl.
So, they don’t make their intentions known, and to the extent they talk to women at all… repress their interest, or look to the woman to lead.
Not good, cause then not only do you miss out on women… but women miss out on you.
The PUAs and their crowd learned from this mistake, and came to the opposite conclusion.
You SHOULD “sell yourself” and flirt shamelessly with women.
In fact, you should move forward with them as much as possible… push hard, overcome resistance… and get the close.
But there’s a problem with this as well… since this “aggressiveness” is often dissonant to where the woman is at emotionally.
The correct path lies somewhere in the middle.
(Go figure, Pat “Nuance” Stedman strikes again)
You need to present yourself to women in the best way possible, charm, create trust, flirt, etc…
But while you should pursue them… you can’t OVER pursue.
And the balance you take depends on the girl and situation.
For instance, you might be a really perfect match for a girl, but if her own mindset is screwed up, she’s not going to see it. You NEED to sell yourself to her if you want to break through that resistance.
And yet…“chasing” a girl seems a bit desperate, no? How are you supposed to lead if you don’t have the frame?
Which is why, while I do a great job advising clients how to proceed based on the individual nuance in their situation… I have a rule I suggest all of you to follow.
Present yourself as best you can, push on despite her resistance… but if she’s balking at your advances — move on.
Because if they can’t see the value you bring, moving onIndeed, it’s a rule I apply not only to women, but to biz.
The way I see it, I put myself out there on a fairly regular basis.
So you get a pretty good idea of who I am here.
And, if you fill out an application, you get to know me a bit more.
But if you’re not sold on me still?
Particularly because you’re asking “how do I know X will happen or that you won’t do Y?”
Well, I always admit there is room for improvement on my end to persuade.
(Video testimonials coming soon, I promise)
But honestly my dudes… I don’t know what to say.
I know it’s a scammy industry, and it’s hard to trust people you don’t know…
But certainty about anything in life is an illusion. You are always going to have to jump if you want to make progress.
So, make your own decisions. I ain’t gonna push.
It’s your life… and frankly your lost time. And if you don’t value that I don’t know how to help you.
As for the rest of you? Those who truly want a different relationship with women — and most importantly — themselves?
Who are ready for a big jump?
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application