So, every now and then I’ll remind people (and myself) that once upon a time I wrote a book (some might say, the book) on texting: Tackling Texting.

Even though it’s a few years old, you still won’t find a better resource breaking down the tactics and principles taking you from phone # to date with a girl.

And yet, I don’t pitch it that much.

Part of this is practical. The margins are super low for me.

(The book is $5 and I get like 80% of that — your support buys me my overpriced NYC coffee, cool but not much to live on)

But it’s also because I’m, personally, not so big on books as I used to be. 

And this reflects in what I care about pitching.

Part of this is because tragically, even your main man Pat Stedman spends too much time on social media… and has developed a reduced attention span.

(I hate that this is the case, and am taking measures to address it)

But that ain’t all it is, fam.It’s that most books either don’t provide much information… or don’t provide it at scale.

Especially those in fields you’re already quite familiar with.

For example:

I have on my shelf countless dating, relationship, psychology books… for obvious reasons, right?

An expert should always educate himself in his field.

But at this point for me, a few exceptions aside, I find them to add minimal value… and for what value they do provide, to be an inefficient source of it.

You go through chapters of dense writing to get to 1-2 points.

Moreover, most of the stuff is regurgitated ad nauseum so no one has anything new to say.

So, I’ll start books and then get bored and leave them.

With the exception of three types.

The first are practical manuals… which is really what Tackling Texting is.

It’s straight to the point and chock-full of examples. If you need help with your texting you will not find a better resource on the market for this price.

(I didn’t fill it up with crap just to take up space, it’s 80 pages of pure information, distilled six times so it goes down smooth)

The second are well crafted novels and biographies of great men. These never get old.

Favorites novels I’ve read recently:

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Anna Karanina

And biographies:

Napoleon: A Life

Lawrence in Arabia: War, Deceit, and Imperial Folly

Benjamin Franklin: An American Life

(Pro-tip: You will learn more about the human condition from reading these than any book by a Harvard psychologist)

The final ones are books that involve subjects that are incredibly deep and change your conception of the world.

Note however: these books are EXTREMELY RARE.

Despite delving into 60 or so books the last 3 years, only two books have done this.

And I consumed them RAVENOUSLY (stayed up late into the night, unable to put them down).

These books:

Bronze Age Mindset (beware: very esoteric and offensive, not for everyone)

Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

Anyway, not much of a list.

But don’t take this to mean I’m not learning.

What do I do instead?

Talk to experts… even if it requires paying for the privilege.

Which is indeed what the highest performers do.

They write books for others… but they learn through interfacing with people who know more than them.

They have conversations, get counseling, and pay for coaching.

Successful businessman Gary Vaynerchuk, for example, has apparently read like 3 books IN HIS LIFE.

Yet he’s one of the most knowledgable people in wine and marketing, because he is constantly learning through action and picking the brains of other experts.

And, it’s pretty much what yours truly is doing these days as well.

If I’m interested in something, I talk to someone who understands it.

Because I can ask questions and learn about the subject on a much greater depth… in a much reduced amount of time.


If you’ve got a similar desire to level up fast in dating or relationships, go here:

– Pat 

PS These are affiliate links, but don’t cost you anything – thanks in advance if you buy!