So as you should know if you got last email, on Friday I was out with the illustrious Hutt.
And boy were adventures to be had.We started off at cheap, local Italian BYOB and headed to one of the more famous establishments in Philly (for those who know, at least): Bob and Barbara’s.
I could tell you many tales from Bob and Barbara’s. It was only a few blocks from my old house, so it was our “local dive.” Everybody knew it for Thursday “drag night” when drag queens from all over would come down and compete (back when this thing was a novelty), and Saturdays when a NOLA-style jazz crew of some 80 year old musicians would keep things lively.
And of course, at the epicenter of all this was the still-kicking “Philly Special” — a Pabst Blue Ribbon and shot of Jim Beam for $3.50.
Hutt and I sat down at the bar, which was not yet packed, and ordered a round.
We chatted for awhile about the place, when Hutt glances to his left and opens conversation with a young, green-eyed blonde girl sitting by herself.
“Holy shit I thought you were fat”
The girl smiles, as any remotely feminine girl does when hit with a well-orchestrated neg. Note the effect: it compliments her while making her question herself at the same time. A perfect opener.
(Negs are really back-handed compliments, though note your intent should be warm not malicious)
Anyway, I’ve seen this before from Hutt — he’s a natural with women and playfully beats up on pretty much every girl he comes across (young or old) with a confident ease.But the truth is the girl — while very pretty (she had those innocent, wide-set doe eyes that make old men fall for young girls) — was dressed in a way that didn’t flatter her figure, with baggy clothing.
We immediately started joking with her — she was a fun, easy flirt — the perfect kind of girl who gives you a pallet to paint your picture on. Hutt’s opener set the frame easily so she was putty in our hands.
Her name was Darcy. Anyway, this went on for about 15 minutes… I forget exactly what we were talking about (we were two bottles of wine and two specials in) but it must have been boilerplate, since eventually I got the impulse to say something and abruptly cut off the current conversation.
“Are you a sugar baby?”
There were a couple of tells at this point that prompted me to say this — she was a young, pretty, feminine girl who wasn’t yet quite as innocent as she wanted to appear. She was also by herself — a courtesan vibe — and seemed unambitious, so career wasn’t an alternative to money. And frankly, if I was looking for a side piece, she seemed the archetype.
She sheepishly replied “are you paying?” and laughed richly. We all did.But then I kept digging.
It turned out she didn’t “sugar baby,” though was interested, since two of her friends did — though they apparently didn’t sleep with the guys.
“How do you know?” Hutt asked her.
“Well, I guess I don’t” she replied.
But based on how eagerly she accepted the drinks and a pair of Hutt’s 20s, you could tell this was a lifestyle she could get used to.
And honestly her life fit the job description pretty clearly.It took a couple attempts to get the details, but she was 24, had been in a 5-6 year relationship that ended with the guy’s infidelity… (though there was much about this she hesitated to divulge).
She came from Lancaster, PA — a conservative area, but didn’t have a good relationship with her parents — hence her move to the big city.
She had a nose ring and some tattoos she was ashamed of, especially when she learned neither of us had any. It was like she already regretted them, like so many of her choices.
She worked retail, selling shoes.
By all accounts, she didn’t have a future ahead of her.
And yet she was a sweet girl. Hutt told her in Texas she’d already be married with babies.
And he was right.
She didn’t reply, but her face told you all you needed to know.
She excused herself to meet some friends at a movie soon thereafter.
Flirtation is fun until it forces you to look in the mirror.
But for $100, that girl would have been a lock that night.
And even that probably wouldn’t have been necessary if either of us had had the inclination.
Hutt and I chatted on the phone about the experience later.This is new for us, to be honest.
Sugar babies were a rare and inconceivable trajectory for most women just a few years ago, and now it’s breaking into the mainstream.
Those who doubt it aren’t paying attention.
Prostitution is becoming a norm.
Sure, as many have noted, dating has been going down this transactional trajectory for decades now, but now it’s finally hitting its full expression.
The dating market is returning to its roots.
If you’re a successful guy who “gets it” you choose an attractive woman from good stock.
And if you’re a woman without a guy, who makes little money and needs to support herself, you sell your body and femininity to guys who will pay you for sex and affection.
The only thing the market has yet to do?
You see, a few years ago a lot of girls weren’t doing sugar dating. So even relatively average girls could make thousands off of it, no problem.
Now girls are rushing into it. And can you blame them? Why hook up with a guy randomly when they can hook up with a guy and get paid for it?
But the problem for them is that even as more guys take interest in, there are more girls willing to sell sex than there are guys with the cash to pay for it.
Which means you can expect the “price of pussy” to drop drastically within the next few years.
Something I think will be quite important for dating in general.
Because here’s something I don’t want missed:It’s not really that all women are becoming prostitutes.
That would be a simplistic way of looking at it.
It’s rather than women are separating into two classes.
Promiscuous girls with traumatic backgrounds and few economic fortunes will find themselves in the seeking-arrangements class, since they have no men (father or worthy partner) to attract them.
But there remain other women out there who aren’t taking this path.
Women who have, indeed, contempt for it.
And if that surprises you, you’re just a dummy. Because it’s the way its always been.
I’m not so sure we should be angry at the seeking arrangements girls, because even though most of them aren’t going to make it out of that meat grinder (spiritually) alive… the pressure on other girls to behave in a way that will attract guys away from this will improve.
And with the right cultural pressures (from those like yours truly), this whole shit storm will correct.
But that won’t be for a few years. And the threat of low women roping you in will continue indefinitely, with all its loss and heartbreak.
Which is why I recommend you work with someone who can read women, so you can learn to do protect yourself.
The truth is most guys suck at this. It’s why they tell you banalities like “all women are like that,” to hammer in your head that you shouldn’t trust any women to behave as anything less than an animal.
Those of us who see, however, know there are two markets — and learn to avoid the transactional one at all costs.
You can apply here if you want to learn more about this secret knowledge: www.patstedman.com/application
Just know that far more dark truths than “hypergamy” become apparent once you learn to see…
PS I’ll write up a proper email about it once I read it, but the newly released book Salty by @Brob404 is a real deep investigation into the world of sugar dating, from the position of a guy who isn’t paying and yet still “gaming the girls.”
This isn’t a review, but if you want to check it out early buy it here (I get a $3 commish if you do, woo): https://amzn.to/2PgP4LU