As some of you stalkers undoubtably heard, I was out last Thursday with good friend Hutt, painting the town (Philadelphia) red.

(More on our escapades coming later in your inbox tomorrow)

Though I don’t live there anymore, Philly’s my old stomping ground — I’m from the area, went to college in the city, and after a brief hiatus moved there for a couple of years — indeed, I cut my cloth dating in its warm embrace.

So I know the city well.

Or so I thought.

A lot’s changed in the last 4 years.

A cheap BYO Italian place I used to go with college friends to pre-game parties was empty.

A crazy-busy Irish bar in the center of the city I used to spend late nights out meeting girls (and went on a fun “triple date” on that 2013 app I can no longer recall the name of) was pretty much dead.

Instead, around the corner two “new” bars (I say “new” because even they are 2-4 years old at this point) were the ones with all the energy.

And the hipster restaurants with quinoa taboulé instead of the chicken francese were getting all the traffic.

Times change. I guess I’m old.

But I’m as different as the city is, if we’re being honest.

The three years I spent in Philly after college are years I’ll look back on with a smile for the rest of my life.

I was straight-out of a serious relationship, started my first adult job, and lived with my three childhood friends in a large, slummy house on the fringes of gentrified philly — throwing parties and meeting women as much as I could manage.

And yet, all things have a season. Even before my last year there it was clear my time there was coming to an end.

I can say 2011 and 2012 were the spring and summer of that house. 2013, while still exciting, was the fall. A close friend who mentored me in game left and I started to shift from 4 girls to 3, to 2, to 1… the girl who would become my girlfriend and now wife.

By late 2013 I was checked out, and spent half the time out of the country. Like me, my friends were all getting into relationships — ones that would last. And little by little crops of younger people came into our scene, changing it, or abandoning it to cultivate greener social pastures.

Gradually, my city was no longer my city — it was someone else’s.Which is how it always has been, and always will be.

If you pay attention, you can feel the arc of time in a place change, as you grow and accumulate experiences.

And you can feel when it’s time to go, and when you’ve stayed too long.

Unfortunately, I see plenty of guys who miss this.

They try to cling to a world that no longer exists, or that is slipping away from them.

Until they look at themselves and realize they don’t recognize the place they’re in anymore.

It’s a recipe for stagnation and regret.

It’s passive.

Unless you are taking responsibility for your experiences, good ones will eventually pass you by.

You can’t hold yourself back to try to hold onto the past. You need to take the initiative to create a new future.

I’m talking to those of you whose relationships are in the process of ending, and those of you who are still mentally stuck in a relationship that has long past.

You can’t bring back something that is dead. Focus on creating new memories, and — though I know it’s hard — enjoy the chaos and uncertainty.

Because it’s out of these periods that new memories and happiness emerges.

The reason my Philadelphia experience was so exciting was that I was starting from the bottom.

I didn’t have a broad social network.I was recently out of a relationship.I had just gotten a job.

Possibility lurked everywhere.

Which is why I love working with guys who are in transitions.

Mentorship and guidance make a huge impact when you’re in a state of novelty.

You’re receptive to new knowledge and ways of operating.A new place, means a new you.

It’s a rare opportunity to double the impact of coaching.

So… if you find your old world ending, and see yourself stuck.

Don’t shut down, or cling to the past.

Reach out to me.

We’ll build your future together, so you can create new and better memories.

You’ll look back at your struggles with smile… because where you’ll be — and the women you’ll be with — will be such an improvement.

Apply here:

– Pat