One thing I used to do when I was younger and studying the art of the approach was binge-watch pick up videos online.
I remember being enamored by them. Guys going up to pretty women they didn’t know, and grabbing their number.
These girls were laughing. Smiling.
And the guy was smooth as silk.
I remember how small I felt after watching these videos. Look at how good with women those guys were compared to me!It took me awhile, however, to learn the dirty little secret going on.
One that was so appallingly deceitful it was almost a crime.
(“fake news”, if you will)
These “number closes” didn’t actually go anywhere.
For all the smoothness of the PUA operator in getting the number, the girl would rarely respond… or would be flakey and bail on any attempts at creating a date.
Surprisingly, a lot of “game” guys accept this as, well, part of the game. It doesn’t phase them.
They think that it’s normal to have to talk to 40 girls to get 4 dates.
Those are just the “odds.”
But personally?
I’m not a big fan of that spread.
I’m not an introvert, but I find approaching most random girls tiring.
In fact, it’s not even about the girls or any sort of latent fears around approaching. I just find most people tedious and unless I am in a certain gregarious mood, I’d prefer to conserve my energy.
This doesn’t apply to all people however.
Sometimes I see something interesting about someone that makes me WANT to go talk to them.
And surprise, surprise… when I do, the interaction goes very well.
(we’re talking 4/5 conversations leading to a connection)
Now, I have to admit — I only recently became aware of the power of this… even though I had been doing it for awhile.
I was wondering why my “lazy” approach to getting dates ended up with me never having flakes and dating really cool, interesting, high-character women.
Why I seemed to avoid all the bs most people in the dating world had to contend with.
Why every girl whose number I got would return my texts.
But, it wasn’t really that complicated.
I just chose my targets more carefully.
Or should I say, intuitively.
And that made all the difference.
Because my intuition simply KNEW whether we were a good fit.
The bad news is that I can’t use my intuition for you.
But the good news is I can teach you how to tap into it on your own.
Indeed — the deep work and “perception augmenting” is a major cornerstone of my coaching these days.
Sign up here if you’re interested: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
