It seems more and more that the divide in “the sphere” is between cad and trad — those who want to sleep with a lot of girls, and those that want to settle down.
Most consider me on the side of the latter. Which makes sense.
I’ve taken more than a couple jabs at the “gather-notches” crowd.
Plus, I’m married.
But the truth is actually a bit more complex.
I’m not anti premarital sex, and I’m actually quite OK with guys sleeping around… for a couple of reasons:
First, as I mentioned in yesterday’s article (in case you missed it), hungry men only think about food. As in, most guys (there are exceptions) need to feel capable of sleeping with women before they can transcend it.
An author whose work I love, Delicious Tacos, once said “if a guy doesn’t have sex before 18 he’s a virgin for life.”
This is hilarious, and while not true, there is a kernel of truth to it.
The later a guy gets laid, the more getting laid tends to fuck with his head.
Guys obsessed with game are disproportionately late bloomers.
So while I don’t think hooking up with tons of girls to build up your self-esteem is a great long-term strategy (see plate-spinning), I do understand the merits of it in the short-term.
It’s training wheels for your psyche, and moreover, it shows you the pointlessness of the whole thing.
You really can find God through the gutter, and bang your way through Nirvana.
But, you can also get trapped if you go in blind.
Hence my coaching.
I help guys to get laid, but I also help them to build up their self-esteem and identity.
To get in touch with who they actually are, so they can do what THEY want.
Paying attention to their body, and their desires.
Maybe they choose to keep hooking up, maybe they don’t.
But they have options. And they’re listening to their subconscious, not some dude online.
Here’s the link if you’re interested: www.patstedman.com/application
PS We’ll discuss the “second reason” tomorrow…