One of my favorite books (not sure if I’ve mentioned it before) is The Unbearable Lightness of Being, by Milan Kundera.
Milan is a Czech writer, and as would be befitting, his book takes place (mostly) in Prague, on the eve of the Soviet invasion in ’68.
The book is great on multiple levels.Gives you a sense of suspense about the changing politics in Prague, with the 60s individualism brawling violently with communist imposed conformity.
But my favorite part of the book?
The contrasting themes of lightness and weight… in regards to living, and most importantly, romance.
Now, for those who have read the book, let me make something clear.
I think Milan is a classic “fuck-up” artist, romanticizing bad decisions that create drama and make his life shitty.
By all accounts (and I have this on good authority from my E. European friends), all of his books are like this – they describe his life.
Wanting something deep with a woman, and then wanting something simple and light.
But, as I am somewhat an artist myself… I find the themes relatable and compelling.
And when it comes to seduction, clarifying.
(Read: The 2 Philosophies of Attraction)
You see, men seduce women in two ways.
They either penetrate the depths of her souls, that no one else has seen… or they make her escape and forget her troubles, leaving her in a position to enjoy the moment.
The best manage a combination of both.
But, like all things, some do better with one or the other.
Some people are just heavy. And some people, unbearably light.
(A lot of this has to do with intuition. By definition intuitive types look deeper into things, and depth has more gravity, and thus more weight. But much also has to do with life circumstances.)
At any rate, you should understand which “style” your seduction leans to.
Because it will help you calibrate it.
For instance, yours truly is quite jovial, known to be always laughing and finding the silly side of things. But I am also by all accounts “heavy.”
And the weight comes on more when I do not feel at my best. Thus (trans)muting my seductive capacity from dynamic to heavy-handed.
Not everyone will be like this. But everyone DOES become more like their core the worse off they are.
Some fall so much into their problems they can’t escape. Some run so far from them they can’t even consider them.
Anyway, more food for thought.
Which reminds me…
One thing I talk about that almost no one else does is DEFENSE.
How do YOU get seduced?
A guideline: If you’re feeling heavy, you’ll likely be drawn to a girl who is light.
At least on the surface, that is. You must ALWAYS meet each other at the core with the same intensity.
But the veneer tends to reflect the opposite of the other.
Anyway, point is…
If you find yourself drawn to suffering artists, you’re probably suffering yourself.
So be careful…And if you need help finding these blindspots?
Well, I’ve pitched it before and I’ll pitch it again.
Work with me.
I can show you where they are and how to get past them.
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