As many of you know I’m from around Philadelphia. And though I’ve moved onto NYC I return often — it’s still my home.
One such return was this past weekend for Super Bowl LII.
I was determined not to miss this. Back in 2008 I was living in Philadelphia when the Phillies won the World Series, but I was a semi-diligent college student and did not attend the “festivities” (read: car flipping) due to a test the next day.
Alas, if only I had been more diligent and started studying earlier than the night before the exam.
But in any case there was a consolation: I didn’t really care about baseball. I didn’t know anything about the team and had no investment in the cause de celebre.
Football was different.
To be sure, I’ve been out of the loop with football the last two years. Chip Kelly, lack of time, and other issues with the NFL took me away from the game.
But before that I was a rabid Eagles fan.
And here we were at the Super Bowl.
So I found myself with my similarly Philly-born, NYC-relocated buddy at a friend of a friend of a friend’s birthday party at a dive bar in Spring Garden (shitty / hipster area of Philly) — a place so run down rain was dripping through the ceiling. By half-time, the floor was all puddles and they were out of most of their booze.
But as we burned through their cheap beer and whisky, I couldn’t help but feel amazing about the company. It was classic Philly… and the energy was lit.
I’ll spare you the other details. We won the game, and as Philly fans know they must do, partied in the most natural way we know: by rioting.
(Don’t worry, yours truly didn’t stay or participate in the fires)
Why do I mention this?
Because something that happened at a couple of points throughout the night worth sharing.
Something that I have felt, but not consistently; something I have been trying to channel.
The animal within.
At certain moments when I was cheering I was no longer myself. This occurred in greater frequency after the game. My body was possessed, my muscles moved with an almost inhuman force. I yelled until my vocal cords exhausted themselves (I remain hoarse as I write this).
I was an animal in trance.
Degenerate, you might think. Uncivilized. You would be half-right to think so… but only half.
The truth is this internal beast is the secret to our power as men.
As society has advanced, we have channeled it — and when this has not been possible, suppressed it. Because it is completely unrestrained, it is feared.
Makes sense — it is terrifying indeed.
But as a man you cannot let this fire completely die.
In its extreme, you become like a Viking berserker — completely in flow and out of yourself, capable of extreme force and focus; a unity of your sympathic and parasympathic nervous systems.
A perfect state not just for war, but its corollary — sex.
The truth is most guys are very much in their heads during intercourse. Maybe they’ve gotten used to a routine, maybe they’re anxious about performance. This is common — all the more so due to the pornographication of society.
But it’s a habit that should be abandoned as soon as possible.
The best sex is in flow. It’s an unthinking kind of passion. It’s instinct.
It’s what women lust for when they imagine a guy “taking” them. Pure and natural movements, a man aligned with his sexual power and desire.
Sounds pretty amazing right?
Maybe. But proceed cautiously. This is not an endorsement and it is not for everybody.
You can’t fake it, you have to submit to it… and that’s scary, especially since boundaries go out the window when in it. Traditionally men were induced into it only under extreme duress. And as I don’t need to say, sex is something to be very cautious around these days.
But some stuff for you to investigate. The more work I do with men, the more I realize energy is at the source of it all – and I can’t just ignore it.
“Heightened states,” strong psychological frame, and being a man are all connected.
If you want to develop it in yourself, apply to work with me here: www.patstedman.com/application
Till next time,
FYI – I only publish old emails on the website. To join the list and get the new, daily-ish ones, go here: www.patstedman.com/optin