“I approached Pat early on in my journey when I was attempting to stop being a nice guy. I was the nicest of nice guys. I am married to a smart and capable woman who ran roughshod over me at every turn, which was making my and my family’s life tedious and miserable. The dynamics not only affected my happiness but was allowing my kids to turn into weak, soft kids. They were still loved, but they had no resolve or perseverance. As I started to make personal changes in my life, the inevitable conflict that arose with my wife made for emotional overload. I couldn’t handle the emotional fallout from standing my ground and would shrink and avoid for days on end, which only made the problem worse. When Pat started coaching me, my life was filled with periods of intense dread. I would have calls with Pat while walking the dog, and he would talk me down for the emotional overload and help me focus on what I wanted, why I wasn’t being selfish, and helping resolve the shame I felt for most things I desired in my life. My family life is much better now – there is a balance between the masculine and feminine in my house. The kids are more resilient and tease me as much as I tease them. My wife has slowly realized that she has married a man with extremely good judgment who pushes for what is best for the family, allowing her to relax. This has been crucial during COVID since she would have been swept up in fear and made poor choices. My steadying presence has allowed her to not go with the coercion and social pressures that surround her. There is still room for me to grow, but I was helped down the path immensely by Pat. I look at where I and my family would have been now, if I hadn’t coached with Pat three years ago, and it scares me. I would have buckled to every whim and fear of my wife, my kids would be emotional weaklings and I would have been profoundly unhappy. I can’t help thank Pat enough for the support and guidance Pat provided through the uncertain times of unfucking myself.”