How to Be a King and Get a Queen

The times, they are a changing.

I’m not sure if you’ve been paying attention to the last couple weeks of political revelations. But the energy in the country has completely changed. What’s started to build momentum has hit a fever pitch. We’re entering into a different era of governance, with a different kind of leadership.

And in this new era, Donald Trump is the King.

Now, I’m not saying Donald Trump is *literally* the King. We don’t have Kings in America. But the feeling of power and divine authority he possesses right now IS historically what was felt with a King. He has King energy. He has for a long time, really, but since the assassination attempt the past summer it’s become extremely distilled. Saying “he’s not a King” is a semantic and frankly silly argument at this point in time.

And this King has a Queen — Melania — who also fits this archetype in turn. She too looks, acts, and feels the part.

The words “King” and “Queen” are thrown around a lot by people, sometimes in a well-intentioned, mutually affirming manner — sometimes narcissistically. And there’s a reason for this: the King and Queen are “apex” terms for each sex. They are the pinnacle of achievement. This is where a man and woman respectively meet their peak integration — the best that the sexes can achieve.

The question I’d like to address in today’s email is how.

What makes a man a King, or a woman a Queen?

In short, a King or Queen is a man or woman who has mastered the fundamentals of being that sex, and then transcended it. They are the perfect expressions of not only masculine or feminine, but the masculine or feminine that is balanced and integrated as a whole with its opposite.

Before Donald Trump was a King, he was a man. He was aggressive, tough, cunning, and had ambition, courage, and vision.

Before Melania Trump was a Queen, she was a woman. She was soft, refined, and charming, and had beauty, enchantment, and sensibility.

In time they have mastered more than these fundamentals. Donald is as much a man as ever, but what really shows today is his compassion and heart. He is the archetype of a man who, like in the Holy Grail stories, is graced with the approval of the “divine feminine,” and can thus exercise extraordinary amounts of power, because the power is in service to others rather than self. He leads firmly, but also with compassion and love.

Melania for her part remains gorgeous and feminine — the epitome of class and grace. But if her inauguration fashion was any indication, she has also integrated the masculine’s strength and determination. Melania is enchanting but also to some extent terrifying. The goddess, like Tolkien’s Galadriel at the well in Lorien, is both radiant and intimidating in this way. The integration of these women allows them to have an authority. It is not an authority that leads, like the King, but it is a moral-type of authority. In a certain sense, the integrated woman — the Queen — commands fate itself. She can see and determine peoples doom. The integrated man, the King, in his role simply executes it.

Suffice to say it’s pretty hard to get to these layers of masculine and feminine power. You need more than the right raw material. You need the circumstances. Embodying an archetype means stepping outside of yourself. To become it, you need to surrender to a higher energy, and almost let it possess you. Perhaps you even need to be chosen, as the expression goes, “by the Gods” for it.

(Not to digress, but I think what the ancients viewed as “Gods” were these archetypal energies… worshipping and believing in God himself is to go even higher above these)

But it’s worth discussing anyway, because you can still bring a lot of these energies to your life… even if you will never find yourself quite in the role of the Trumps.

So where do I see guys mostly struggle with this?

They put the cart before the force. They try to integrate the feminine before they become masculine first.

I don’t know how many times I need to emphasize this, but you need to master the fundamentals, gentlemen. Your first objectives are always going to be to become harder. To take on more responsibilities. More challenges. To think big, and explore your edge.

Once you have become strong, fearless, and aggressive… THEN you want to develop contrast. You want to be tender, selfless, prudent.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t or shouldn’t possess those latter traits beforehand. They’re always virtues, and if you’re gifted with them, don’t disregard them.

The point is more if you lack the masculine characteristics, these shouldn’t be the crux of your developmental focus, especially if you want to do well with women. Too much caution and not enough risk-taking is simply going to turn you into a “nice guy.”

Understand: the best men always behave like men, they are just smoothed around the edges with some feminine traits. It’s this smoothing that turns them into the type of leaders women adore and want to follow. Women are attracted to the fighter, and they appreciate a man who’s good with kids — but the man they really fall for is the fighter who is good with kids. The man who has that mastery of violence and the unknown, but can also be tender.

This same dynamic is at play with the women we are into most. Being beautiful, refined, graceful are all traits that men love in women. But the women we really find attractive have all of this, but also a strength, wisdom, and fortitude. We can sense the confidence in these women; indeed, we love them far more for it.

So the simple takeaway is this.

If you want to be a King, or embody the “divine masculine,” there are NO ways around the hard, dirty work which is always essential in the development of a man. The best men are always killers and destroyers first and foremost; they are dangerous, brave, and resilient. Compassion, kindness, and generosity makes them the best men, but it doesn’t make them men. And if a man isn’t a man, I hate to say it, but he is nothing. You might be “nice,” but you feel like a puddle of mush.

“OK, Pat,” you’re probably thinking now. “This was all very interesting. But when are you going to make your pitch.”

I’m actually just getting to that.

Because although I’m hardly the first guy to talk about being an “integrated man,” I am one of the few who has actually embodied it. I’m not saying that to suggest I’m perfect, because I’m not. I can be more of a man and I know this all too well. It’s why I’m focusing more on my physical development now than ever, and why both martial arts and weapons training is on the horizon. These are weaker spots, and they are being addressed, so I can become a full-spectrum man over the next few years.

But at the same time, I am hardly soft. I have time and again put myself out at risk. I faced down a tyrannical regime and spent a year in prison for it around violent gangsters. And I didn’t remotely let it break me.

I know what it’s like to be on my edge, and I know I thrive on it.

So although I care about the inner worlds of men, and talk about ways to be more balanced and multidimensional — to bring love, romance, and curiosity to relationships — I am not a faggot either. I know this stuff is additional, not fundamental to manhood. You should not be talking about the “divine masculine” when you’re soft. Indeed, being soft is the main reason your life probably sucks.

But there is good news.

I can help you to change.

Coaching is more than just individualized advice. It’s an energy exchange. In the process of talking to me week after week, you start to not only think like me, you feel like me. I create an energetic blueprint of sorts that you are able to merge into.

That doesn’t mean you will lose your personality in coaching. But you will get a lot of my vibe. Which includes my lack of fear.

So if you’re struggling to execute in your life, and you just can’t put yourself out there like you know you need to.

It might be time to work with me, my future King. Your Queen awaits.