Last week was a good week.
I got two amazing testimonials that I need to share with you today.
First we’ve got a guy who found the lady of his dreams.
“Man you have been more than a real brother to me. Looking back to when we started our work I was an anxious wussy (without having a clue about it), thought that I was popular when in fact had no boundaries and was stepped over by everyone, always feeling lonely and empty inside, constant pain, millions of miles aways from any chance of pure love and connections. I can honestly say that due to you and our work I am right now living my best life alongside the lady of my dreams. No more anxiety, no more nice guy behaviour, just pure authenticity. You were literally a lifesaver and felt closer to you than to any of my lifelong friends. You managed to fix my life in so many ways and you knew when to push and when to be gentle. Always good to get a pat on the back from Pat when you do well and progress :)”
Then we’ve got a guy who just got married last week!
“I got married yesterday! Honestly, it’s no exaggeration to say this wouldn’t have happened without your help.
When we first talked, I was completely closed off and ashamed of so many things about myself. I couldn’t even talk to girls, let alone go on dates. Slowly, things started getting better, I managed to get dates but couldn’t take things further. Then, when I finally could, I still struggled to get into real relationships.
I remember you telling me that if I walked away from relationships that lacked deep connection, even if the girl was great, and ended things honestly, my next relationship would likely be “tier 5,” wifey material. And you were right.
Thanks for guiding me through this whole journey. Working with you was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.”
These are great messages to receive. Getting to watch these guys go from lost and unsure when we first met, to finding great women to spend their lives with… it’s amazing.
Their problems may have seemed different with the first guy being “wussy” (his words, not mine) and the second guy being closed off and ashamed about parts of himself.
But the solution for both of them was very similar:
They needed to learn how to ask for (and get) what they wanted.
Many men refuse to receive good things. They self-sabotage, create problems, or settle for what someone else would want but they don’t.
My work with these men is like a mix of older brother and father.
I’ve got to work with them to clear shame and shift perspectives, so they internalize how much they have to offer a woman. I have to egg them on so they start to present themselves better to others. I have to teach them how to face the fear of rejection, both by saying “no” and pushing for “yes”. And I have to help them clarify their vision for their love lives so they don’t end up with a poor-fitting woman by default.
You might think all you need are strategies and tactics to do this. And to be sure, they matter. But one of the reasons I have such a high satisfaction rate (literally zero negative reviews over 10 years) is because I do not just view clients as numbers. I genuinely and truly care about them.
I don’t do this out of some agenda, but I found out over time it was part of the secret to my success as a coach. These guys needed to work with someone they knew was in their corner and really cared about what happened to them. They knew I would tell them the hard truth, and keep our conversations focused and professional. But they also knew I loved them. I didn’t want them to succeed because it made me look good – in fact most of my career I’ve forgotten to get testimonials. I wanted them to succeed because when they succeed, their life is better, which makes me feel like a good person won, and my work actually matters.
I’ve managed to turn this coaching combination of personal affection and professional talent into an art form over the years. But the result is that now I have an ability to see you, love you, and help you get to that higher level, all in a short period of time.
The only catch? It requires immense focus and use of my energy, which means I can’t do it for more than a few men at once. Which is also why my clients pay me the big bucks.
I’ll never say it isn’t a big investment. The question for you is simply whether finding the lady of your dreams and having an amazing relationship with her is worth a few thousand dollars. And whether you are going to find another professional you can not only trust, but trust to get you results.
It’s up to you as always. But I don’t think my recently-married clients have much question about the cost-benefits.
The best investments are always in yourself.
