Cutting right to the chase…
Common source of frustration and confusion among men is when a woman comes on strong, flirts heavy, but then disappears when the guy follows up on her interest and asks her out.
I literally cannot tell you how many guys are confused by this, especially those just getting in the game. They assume based on how interested she appeared, she would jump at the opportunity to go out. Yet she just seems to jump away from him instead.
Assuming there is not some external variable like she has a boyfriend / ran into an ex in the meantime, the reasons women do this are broadly two-fold.
First, coming on aggressively is very “unfeminine.” Women like to be pursued. So when a woman goes out of her way to get your attention, she may be happy to get it, but there is also a feeling of cheapness that comes afterwords. She feels “easy” and might even wonder if you really like her. So she becomes extra hard to get to compensate for how strong she came on before.
Second, and most importantly however, is that these women were NEVER really looking for anything with you at all. They were looking for your ATTENTION.
The reason for this is fairly simple. Attention is validation for women. If a girl isn’t feeling good about herself, or has intimacy issues generally (but I repeat myself), her whole goal with guys will be mostly just to “play games” to capture their attention – rather than actually get close to them. Men who are needy and less self-assured are especially likely to get ensnared by these women, because they themselves get validated by the woman’s “interest” in them, and continue to pursue her for that high.
But the truth is that this is not what I really wanted to talk about today, I just wanted to use this as a tool to bait your interest.
What I really wanted to talk about is the phenomenon of MEN DOING THE SAME THING.
You see this often with guys who are new to “pick up” and are ostensibly out trying to get women.
They’ll go do approaches, and get numbers.
But surprisingly, some of these guys won’t follow up on any of the numbers. Or they will do so in a way that dramatically increases their chances of failure.
It’s self-sabotage, yes. But the reality is for these guys, most have already gotten the payoff of a “woman’s interest” by the fact that she responded positively, flirted back, or gave a number.
Once they get that smidgen of investment from a woman, they pull away — because they’ve “won.” It’s a very feminine behavior, but you see it with men who’ve come from a passive place with women and are just starting to improve.
It’s a variation of the same mindset that holds guys back in a more practical manner with their “game,” and makes them “over-impress” the girl. Guys who are witty and funny are especially prone to this; they end up staying in the initial phase of attraction with a girl, and don’t actually get to the point of connecting with her (where there is less instant-validation, and more vulnerability).
The point of me saying all of this?
If you’re out to meet women, remember WHY you are out to meet women.
Do you want THEM, or do you just want to use their attention to feel better about yourself?
If it’s mostly the latter, you are not only living a hollow life, you are likely going to have middling success with women at best. Not only do you come across as less of a man, but men who are using women are likely to attract women who are similarly using men.
In other words, you’ll attract girls who play games, rather than ones who are genuinely looking to connect and exchange energy.
If you want to break these habits and learn the CORRECT ones, I recommend you get my 18+ hour masterclass.
You will understand your own psychology, so you can check yourself before you wreck yourself.
And you’ll understand female psychology, so you can “crack the code” with women.
But more than event this, you will gain practical techniques and strategies to attract women in essentially every environment, not only showing you what to do, but the specific contexts when you should and shouldn’t.
It’s called the masterclass for a reason. It is your comprehensive encyclopedia when it comes to women — taking you from before you meet her to years of marriage.
Get it here: https://masterclass.patstedman.com/sales-page