Recently had a tweet go viral about a girl getting some street food:
It’s funny what gets attention and what doesn’t. This was a throwaway comment, but apparently the last thing you want to do today is come between a western woman and her psychiatric medication.
YetI stand by what I said about more and more modern women losing their expressiveness. And I do think taking drugs that (by design) numb and lower your emotional range are in part responsible for it.
But I’m not writing this email to harp too much on this topic. Yes — expressive women are hot, and yes these women are sadly less common that they once were. The art of feminine enticement is increasingly a lost one.
However, why is this expressiveness so attractive?
Understand: feminine energy is inspiration. It doesn’t act itself, it moves the masculine to action.
Which is why “Boss bitch” women who “get shit done” aren’t showing their femininity. You might respect these women, and they might be more mature and balanced. But “doing” is fundamentally masculine.
Femininity, in contrast, is manifestation through magnetism. You want your car fixed, so rather than fix it yourself, you compose yourself in a way that motivates another to do it for you. Given the nature of polarity, this other is going to be a masculine man. Your feminine energy charges him, and makes him achieve more than he otherwise would.
Many women struggle with femininity today because they have been programmed to believe letting another do things for you is “weak.” You are being “controlled.” In reality, these are simply trust issues when it comes to men. But let’s digress on this topic and return to expressiveness.
Expressiveness is a powerful feminine characteristic because expressions create emotional charge. When this attractive girl shows she can be “moved” up and down, it makes a man feel like his actions are felt from the woman. Her positive emotions inspire him to give more; her negative ones act as a deterrent from falling short.
I want to be clear — I am not a rube — I know this girl is gaming the food truck guy. She wants him to feel a high from her, perhaps so that he gives her the best fucking street food a girl can get, or perhaps simply because she is in a good mood and wants to stretch her power. I am under no illusions that this is artifice.
The bigger question is — should you really care?
I talk about girl game in my masterclass and the need to be aware of it not to indict it. Game is good, whether it comes from a man or a woman. A pretty girl knows how to be expressive, how to smile at you and make you feel amazing. What is the problem with that? Would you prefer to feel nothing?
The point is simply to know what it is happening is play, and not to delude yourself that a girl is necessarily “head over heels for you” because she acts this way. To enjoy the energy of flirtation, to get the charge from it, to feel turned on. But to be grounded in the process.
Yet I know staying grounded is exactly the problem for most guys. They meet a pretty girl, and even if they’ve spent 10 years reading PUA forums and know every “indicator of interest” and feminine wile that exists “intellectually,” when a girl applies it on them, they lose perspective.
Because the reality is, while information is valuable, knowing is only possible with experience.
Which is why working with a coach is so important if you want to really understand women.
You get not only information in its proper context, but the objective expertise to connect it to your personal experiences.
In other words, you feel the truth and integrate it. Which gives you practical wisdom of how to navigate women. You actually become better with them, and avoid the pitfalls others make.
Most of you will be able to do this on your own to some extent. You’re smart. And if you really cared, you would dedicate yourself to figuring it out
Indeed, I believe this to be true in any endeavor. Find yourself isolated on the frontier, and you would learn to make yourself a shelter. Gradually you would improve it. It would become serviceable for most conditions, even if it needed constant maintenance or had problems.
But think of how much time and energy you would waste, and how much less ideal it would be than if you had somebody with you who knew exactly how to build a house and could show you how to do it. Indeed, imagine if you had somebody with you who could also advise you how to plant crops, make tools and clothing, and track animals to hunt?
You would be safe, cozy, and full in a matter of months, rather than deal with durability and weatherability issues, exhaustion from inefficient labor, and hunger for years if not decades — along with the anxiety that would come with it.
Coaching is for people who don’t want to waste time. Coaching is for people fed up with their love lives; who don’t want to go hungry anymore.
It is not to take away your agency, to “do it for you.” It is to make YOU more capable.
Much work lies ahead.
Apply here when you’re ready to do it: www.patstedman.com/application
– Pat
