Well it seems as if the manosphere has come to a new conclusion.

You don’t really “need” any special advice to succeed with women. Get in shape, get rich. And then just “be interesting” and “hold frame.”

Sinple, really. Problem solved.

Or is it?

Look, I get where this kind of thinking comes from. If you are wealthy and physically attractive, you are going to get attractive women showing you interest. If you don’t act like a bitch and she enjoys talking to you, you are at least going to get laid — and she will probably want to date you.

But there are 3 problems with this line of thinking:

#1 – Banality. Let’s just assume it’s true all you have to do is “be interesting” and “hold frame.” OK, fair enough — but how do you actually do this?

This is like saying to a guy out of shape “just go lift weights” or a guy who is poor “start a business doing something people need.”

If it were that easy EVERYONE WOULD BE FIT AND RICH. But they’re not. Because people struggle with the mindset component of this and are missing / haven’t internalized some key pieces of information other guys take for granted.

#2 – Ignores Female Nature. Getting an attractive woman might be easy. But getting a woman with character, and who isn’t riddled with red flags? Totally different conversation.

Before my coaching business I worked in corporate fraud and due diligence. I did more background checks on CEOs than I can recall. One of the common themes was them marrying some psycho woman who went after them aggressively in court and tried to take all their money. Brutal custody battles. Them remarrying younger women, and the same thing happening again.

Of course, I have seen this with scores of clients as well on a more intimate level at this point. And the core issue is clear. These guys didn’t really know how what kind of women they were dealing with. They met a girl, she was hot, the sex was good, she was feminine — he fell for her. And then got eaten alive.

Didn’t matter if he had money or looks. Didn’t matter if he was interesting, or didn’t act like a bitch. He had bad discernment because he didn’t understand his weak spots with women. Which brings us to point #3…

#3 – Finding is Not Keeping. Probably the biggest blindspot I see guys have is that they conflate attracting a girl with keeping her.

Looks and wealth are high in preselection. Which if you recall from my book, means that it is very good at passively attracting women without any effort required. This is obviously a good thing, but the negative side of it is that it causes guys to become complacent in their behavior towards women. They think what brought her in keeps her drawn to you… when it doesn’t.

Good-looking guys, for instance, will rarely have a problem getting laid. Pretty girls will pick them up. No work required.

But then they will have a hard time getting subsequent dates. By date 3 the girl gets bored, and since she’s already got her “notch” of a handsome man, she moves on…

Attractive guys who have money as well as looks will probably get more dates, as many women want the lifestyle he can provide. So they will give a lot up front to these guys to get them hooked, and push towards marriage. But they are not really drawn to him; over time, problems start.

Of course, you are probably thinking “well just don’t get married”

But again I am going to underline that you are not dealing with the core issue here which is that YOU SUCK AT ASSESSING WOMEN AND KEEPING THEM ATTRACTED OVER TIME

These guys are basically admitting they don’t have the competence to develop a happy  and fulfilling marriage with a woman, and that their judgment of women is so poor they can’t trust a woman not to take advantage of them.

Which is why I actively DO NOT cater to huge swathes of the manosphere.

Because while everybody claims to be a “top 0.1% G” who is excellent at everything, the reality is most guys lean out from anything that will challenge their self-image, and are themselves superficial when it comes to women, routinely settling for transactional relationships… until they fall hard for a girl they weren’t expecting, and subsequently get butt fucked by reality.

These guys think getting some 21 year old girl obsessed with them after 1 month of dating actually says something. Whereas in reality this is REMARKABLY EASY and borderline amateurish compared to the mastery required to get a woman DEVOTED to you for 10+ years.

There is no point talking to guys like this until after their inevitable humiliation.

My role exists solely to help men who are HUMBLE and who as a result *genuinely* care about achieving excellence in their love lives. The guys who want to develop TRUE wealth with women… not the ones who bought the “penthouse girl” on leverage and when the market crashes find out they can’t pay.

Which man are you?

www.patstedman.com/application

– Pat