One of the most annoying things that women do is “nag”

And unfortunately for many guys, it’s also one of the hardest things to nip in the bud. Once a woman gets in the habit of doing it, it can become incessant.

How to stop this nagging?

Fortunately, there are ways.

But before we go into that — you need to understand where this bad habit comes from.

There are 3 primary causes:

Reason #1: Baseline Hysteria

Remember that women are by nature hysterical — which means they are sensitive to authority, and want to be sure this authority is valid.

Nags are thus in some sense “tests” — she is questioning and trying to control what you are doing because she doesn’t trust your ability to handle it.

And yet, even if you are leading well, many women will still do this impulsively.

In this case it’s less about you than her own neurosis.

She is “pinging” you all the time because she is ANXIOUS.

She wants YOU to make her FEEL better.

Sometimes this is a sign there is something psychologically unstable in the woman, and you need to move on.

Often, however, you can effectively reduce her nagging by simply listening to her fears and reassuring her. She isn’t feeling CARED FOR — your response thus needs to be calibrated to her emotional needs.

That said, many women have an insolence around them with their nagging. They feel “entitled” to do it.

Which brings us to the next reason…

Reason #2: Lack Of Respect

While many women nag because they are anxious, and have no aims to “gain control” — other women do it from a position of arrogance.

They don’t believe that you are reliable. They don’t trust you. They might think you to be a child — incapable, irresponsible…

The first question you need to ask yourself: is it true?

Women can sense when men are “off their game”

So if you are, acknowledge that you are contributing to her attitude problem. And that her nagging, while annoying, is designed to make you better.

Understand — nagging rarely happens in a vacuum. It’s either because you’ve been a lazy and poor leader, or because you’ve been one in the past… and that perception hasn’t yet changed.

But what if you are on your shit, and she just won’t quit?

Which brings us to the final reason…

Reason #3: Poor Boundaries

If you’re engaging with her emotional needs, and taking care of what you need to do for the relationship… the only reason a woman is going to continue to nag you is because she knows she can get away with it.

Which means that the problem isn’t what you’re doing to her, but how you’re responding to her behavior.

Unfortunately, many women (in the west, in particular) have not been taught what is attractive and unattractive behavior to men.

And a large reason all of this continues is because men do not put up any barriers and just accept it.

They don’t make it clear — through their words, and most importantly their actions — what is and is not OK.

Instead, they cater — they lose frame. They allow her to be the arbiter of his actions, even going so far as to “check in with the boss” before he makes decisions.

Big mistake. Because if she doesn’t know “you’re out” if she doesn’t change course… if she doesn’t understand there are consequences to her nagging…She’s going to keep doing it.

So if you want her to stop, you gotta get some boundaries my man. And you need to FEEL them… otherwise it’ll just come across as an empty threat.

(Which means the nagging is more likely to intensify, not recede…)

So a recap of what to do:

1. Understand nagging is likely coming from a place of insecurity and fear, so address those emotions when responding to it. Be sensitive to what’s behind her statements, to transmute her negative energy to positive.

2. Check in as to whether you are actually showing up as you should. How much of her nagging is actually due to things you haven’t taken care of, that you said she would? Address these accordingly.

3. Let her know the score. The behavior is not attractive and you are going to withdraw attention and affection if she doesn’t change her attitude. (Just remember when she does, to reward it!)

And actually, there is a #4 too.

Get coaching.

Because even if you know all of the above in theory… understanding them when you are emotionally invested in a dynamic can be difficult.

It’s hard to know objective how to act. And to know when you are at fault vs her.

Which is where I come in.

Because not only can I help you to navigate this conflict… 

…I can get you to come out on the other side with an even better relationship.

Apply here:

– Pat