So last time we talked about some French girls we met while Goldmund and I we were doing some “interviews” of girls dating and relationship lives.

As you recall, these French girls were actually in committed relationships.

Not so much the case for these next girls we met.

First was a very cute, petite hispanic girl visiting from LA.

She had a lot of energy and mischief on her face, and while didn’t have a lot of positive things to say about the dating scene… it was clear she still had a lot of dating left in her.

To put it in a certain parlance, she was young and had a high “SMV” (sexual marketplace value)

So while she was overtly “complaining” about how it sucked that the hot guys didn’t want to commit, and the guys who wanted to commit weren’t hot… she didn’t seem to ACTUALLY be upset about the situation.

She was enjoying her time with the hot guys; enjoying the game of play vs be played (as only the ones with power in the market understand).

Anyway, she was immature but no real bad vibes from her. If I had wanted to take it in that direction she would have been a potential prospect that night. This girl was open and looking for fun.

(Note to single guys: learn to discern which ones are these girls if you want to maximize your time out at night)

More interesting was the other girl near the door of the bar.

Goldmund approached her and her more attractive friend. To be honest I immediately felt a sense of regret when he talked to this group — it was clear the energy of these girls was very low and toxic.

Sure enough, the more attractive girl extricated herself immediately.

But her friend lingered, with one of those flat, unhappy faces.

She was in her late 20s, but looked 5 years older due to lack of zest.

She was reticent to interact first, and extremely untrusting of our intentions… but Goldmund persisted and got her talking about what she thought about dating in NYC today.

And just like that… the dam broke, and a flood of complaints and grievances began pouring out of her mouth.

First she spent about 10 minutes complaining about how a guy had ghosted her, and how immature it was.

(She admitted she did this to guys in the past, and said now she doesn’t do it)

But the big thing that struck me about this girl was the stupid decisions she had made in her life.

This was a girl who had been in a relationship with a guy she really loved.

But broke it off because she wanted to see what single life was like in the “big city”

So he moved to Colorado and she moved to NYC to sex-in-the-city it up.

Only to learn first hand this place is a spiritual meat grinder for most people.

She left something real for something fake, and had paid the price.

Her ex and her still talked, and there was a chance they might reunite. We encouraged her to do so.

Though if I’m being honest, I don’t know if it’s going to work out.

She’s jaded. And even though hated being single, was obviously scared of commitment.

Most damning was her ego. She had downloaded the programming that telling her she shouldn’t move someplace for a man.

Do I think she took our advice to be real and humble?

Nah.

Case in point, as we were leaving later in the night we went to say goodbye… she didn’t look at us.

This is a woman who had spilled her guts over 30 minutes.

But it was complaining, not connection.

We were just objects in a room she could vent to.

There wasn’t any real emotion left accessible to her but resentment.

Why do I mention this?

Well, they’re illustrative stories of modern women.

Ones you WILL encounter if you go out into the market… and better know how to navigate.

Cause here’s the thing…

Sometimes you mess up with a woman because you didn’t read the situation right. You were treating her like the wrong demographic (sometimes women are in the mood to hook up that night, others want a slow simmer)

But one thing that guys routinely forget is that girls can suck too.

And not to get caught up in the energy of such ladies.

They’re not happy people, and if you chase them you will only become more unhappy yourself.

Indeed:

The secret to success with women really isn’t converting as many as possible, but screening out the ones that are not worth your time.

Ideally sooner rather than later.

Which is incidentally something I am VERY good at.

If you want to learn from the best, apply here: www.patstedman.com/application

– Pat