I’m back from the grave, friends… and have a LOT to share with you in the coming weeks.
In the meantime, though, an email to get you riled up.
So the other day on twitter I posted something many were either confused about, or didn’t like:
It’s funny that some of the comments accused me of not “understanding” the purpose of this tactic.
Fam, I get what the tactic is supposed to do.
And I don’t deny that it works on a certain category of women.
All women are drawn to men who have options, and women who are looking to play emotional games (most women) are willing, at least for a time, to compete with other women for a guy. (Indeed, there are even some modern manifestations of avoidant women who prefer a guy to be seeing other girls, so she doesn’t need to get emotionally close with him) So if you’re trying to sleep with girls, spinning plates makes perfect sense.
You get more sex, from different women, and it makes it easier to acquire more women.
What’s the problem?
Well, the problem is if you’re trying to enter into a secure relationship.
A relationship with love and trust from the outset.
A relationship you objectively chose.
Look — you can get into a great relationship from dating multiple women, and then picking the one that just blows you away.
It’s happened many times.
But there are 2 problems:
The first is that dating multiple women conceals both to her and you your actual level of self-mastery.
Because the real reason guys spin plates isn’t the sex but the validation.
It’s a confidence and energy crutch — they leach off of the women their own lack of internal power.
Which means that you might get a great girl from spinning plates, but then when you STOP, the dynamics of the relationship will change dramatically.
Your neediness will come through, and her interest will decline… not only because of the former reason, but because you can’t be certain to what extent she was in it just because other girls were.
In other words, when you spin plates you don’t really know yourself — you lose yourself in the game, relishing in the spoils.
And then there’s second reason:Your discernment is scattered, and you aren’t able to see a woman objectively.
And moreover, she can’t see you.
Look, I know this is a high level of nuance.
But when you’re spinning plates, you’re oriented fundamentally towards women — NOT yourself.
Psychologically you are closer to being the needy beta guy than the self-assured alpha.
You have a weakness, and that weakness is lust.
And the lust will blind you to love.I’m not saying don’t experience it if you have to.It’s your life… we make choices here to learn from them.
But I can tell you from experience…
Play the game of plates too long and you can get lost in it.
You become literally no different than the young women on the “cock carousel.”
You are destroying your ability to pair-bond with women and paradoxically haven’t broken your dependence on them.
No, the answer is not to date the first woman who shows you interest.
(This is sophistry from people too dumb or insecure to see a different level)
The answer is to ONLY date women who you feel a higher reason to date.
And if you really get grounded in yourself, you will find this is a substantially lower amount of women than you’d think.
Build and conserve your energy.
Pursue your mission.
And be on the lookout for when she comes along.
Anyway, if you need help aligning yourself with this truth?
(God knows it’s not an easy path to follow, even if it is the most rewarding…)
Apply here: www.patstedman.com/application
It’s difficult to have objectivity on your own, but I can see you and your future clearly… and will show you how to get there.