The following is a guest post from Dr. Laura Dabney.

Dr. Laura runs a Life Coaching practice for men, and over the last decade has helped hundreds of men level up their relationships, careers, and overall quality of life.

To learn more about her, go here:

And now for the article… take it away Dr. Laura!


            We’re all human and we all experience a wide range emotions on a daily basis. And to be honest, it’s completely okay to get overwhelmed with emotions from time to time. BUT (yes, there is a but) if you are struggling with controlling your emotions on a daily basis, that is NOT okay. Getting a grip on your emotions should be something you are actively working on because no one wants to date someone who doesn’t have control of him or herself, am I right? Here are three tips to help you control your emotions so they don’t control you. You can thank me later.

1. Understand Your Triggers. Having a better understanding of what triggers your emotions is the first step in managing them. You can do this by looking back at each time you have lashed out with emotion. Try to remember what caused these outbursts and how you reacted. Once you have identified these triggers, you can start finding ways to avoid them or work around them.

2. Be mindful.  In most cases, we get upset over things and they try to change the person as opposed to realizing this is futile as we can’t control anyone else. If you can be mindful over the control you do have, you’ll be more successful. A lot of times, we are on auto-pilot and we forget we can actually decide how to approach a situation. For example instead of raging at your girlfriend for her persistent tardiness, simply don’t wait for her.   When we realize we can only control our actions we can prevent a lot of issues that bring up negative emotions.

3. Don’t Suppress your Emotions, Express Them Calmly. While we can’t control how we feel, we can control we express ourselves. We can always choose to express our feelings calmly and in a composed manner. Expressing emotions such as sadness, frustration and anger begins with knowing that they are not wrong or bad. They are simply indicators of what is going on in your world. Like our sense of smell warns us about dangers in our environment, our emotions warn us of dangers in our relationships. Find a way to channel these emotions and express them in a way that others will understand is much more intimate than burying them.

Remember, we are all emotional beings; it is okay to feel emotions. However, when we ignore our emotions, they don’t resolve. Unresolved emotions lead to resentment which can seep out (or explode) in unexpected situations. In other words, if you don’t take control of your emotions they end up controlling you.  Start the year by getting those unwanted emotions resolved!

To your emotional health,

Dr. Laura Dabney