Cutting straight to the point, there are a lot of reasons why men today “hold back” from talking to women.

Some of these are personal. The guys are afraid to approach.

Others are social. They’ve been told approaching women is weird.

And on top of these are layered the tactical. They just don’t know what to say anyhow.

But beneath all of these reasons is something deeper.

Something that justifies these fears.

The belief that a woman doesn’t WANT them to approach. That the woman isn’t interested and he has to MAKE her interested.

It’s a sad misunderstanding.

One that makes the whole process of attracting women so much more difficult than you might think.

Because the truth is… very often women ARE sending you signals that they’re interested in you. That they WANT you to go up and approach them.

But you’re just not seeing them.

And so, opportunities slip through your fingers.

Now… at some point we’ll go through these “indicators of interests” (IOIs) in detail.

But I want to focus on the most simple one today… one that incidentally came up in a question this morning on twitter:

“When daygaming do you guys prefer to go for women who you have made eye contact with? Say you catch their eyes and they do a double take? Seems more difficult, in my experience, to get them interested without the initial eye contact, and getting their hindbrain going.”

Some of the responses were that you should approach anyway, and this is definitely something I recommend if you have the experience to know how to approach (or the girl strikes you in a certain way).

But what I want to emphasize here is that this guy noticed, unlike so many other men, one of the clearest and most important “IOIs” out there:

Eye contact.

I really can’t express to you how much this will change your dating life if you notice and act on this. Women look at guys who they’re interested in. And since women do not like to approach (nor should they feel the need to), eye contact is their way of telling us to come over.

Now, of course sometimes this is a mistake. Sometimes she didn’t mean to look at you, and it was just chance.

But really, so what? The miscommunication gives you an opportunity to tease her and create attraction anyway… and the worst thing that could possibly happen is she rejects you (as always). If you don’t approach… you’ll never know. And girls will write you off if they see you looking at her, and yet you do nothing.

That said, there is a type of eye contact a girl can give that pretty much guarantees she’s interested in you.

That’s something one of my mentors, Nick Sparks, called the “peek back.”

This is when a girl looks at you… looks down or away… and then looks back.

I’m telling you friends, if you don’t approach a girl you’re attracted to in this situation, you’re a fool.

The glance down shows she likes you enough that she’s INTIMIDATED by you. It’s a form of submission.

The interaction is yours to screw up. You can literally go up to her and say hi and make something happen.

So pay attention and take action.

Women don’t have the luxury of approaching us. So they send out signals, and expect us to understand what they mean.

And since most guys don’t… these women get very very depressed and frustrated.

Indeed: the thing that sets above average and expert daters apart from your average joe is this ability to understand what’s going on in the minds of women.

And guess what gents… it goes far beyond eye contact. That’s the BASICS.

The way she positions herself in a group, the things she says to you, the pace of her responses after you get her number…

There are subtle tells not just in the approach, but in every step of the process from meet to mate.

And if you don’t know these signs?

You’ll mess up things with girls.

Over. And. Over. Again.

I know, because I did for years. 5 years, to be exact.

Much of it I learned from trial and error. Being curious, reflecting on things that happened.

But the biggest mistakes and misreads I was making?

I didn’t get past until I got a coach.

The reason for this is simple. I couldn’t think outside of my own mental framework.

I had a lens I looked at my interactions with women through, and all analysis got filtered through this model.

What I didn’t understand was my model was wrong.

It took an OUTSIDE EXPERT to shatter it for me, and rebuild a new one. To help me to understand how women really think… what signs I was missing, and how my actions were affecting them.

The result was I made more progress in 3 months than in 3 years.

Results you could have too. That is, if you got over your fear of change… even good change.

Because that’s what it is, dude.

Some of you have money issues. But most of you have priority issues.

You’d rather burn time getting fragments of info than invest money to get the full wisdom.

Counting costs the wrong way.

Ah well.I know it takes time to come to these conclusions. So no worries if you want to sit on the decision a little more.

Worst that could happen is what, you miss a chance with a great girl?

Perhaps a future wife?

Don’t worry about it.. these types come around every couple of years.

But for those of you who want the good life now…

Go here:

– Pat