Got a great question from a reader on this the other day so let’s explore, shall we?
Persona and Personality confuse people for obvious reasons.
Persona is like a social veneer we put on around people – a way of acting that is universally attractive.
Personality, on the other hand, is who we are — our “authentic” selves.
So the concern regularly comes up how one can be authentic yet use Persona.
Isn’t Persona by definition fake?
Well, some purists might say this.
But I find the thinking to be dumb.
You should think of Persona instead as a lubricant.
It makes all interactions with people, and when oriented towards women as game, go more smoothly.
Persona is knowing how to read a situation, helping you to decide which cards you can and should play.
The problem with Persona is when it’s not grounded in anything deeper.
When you’re playing to play, regardless of the costs.
When you are suppressing who you are in service of the more “likable”, “desirable” veneer.
When you do this, you’re simply put – fake.
No one knows who you actually are.In contrast, people with developed Personalities are not afraid to let who they are shine through.
They won’t act a certain way if it means compromising who they are, even if it means being “likeable” and “getting the lay”
(BTW, in case you can’t see it, most PUAs and players are all persona — why I don’t recommend this path!)
Which is why people who are big on developing their Personality tend to come across as very direct, often grating and abrasive.
You might still be drawn to the fact that they are real… and trust that… but it doesn’t make them very appealing to be around.
You almost have to “get used” to them being so rough around the edges, showing you all their warts etc.
Guys who use Persona and Personality together in harmony balance their own need to be real and express themselves, with a healthy understanding of what matters to other people.
They might keep certain feelings close to their chest if it doesn’t add value to speak them.
And they will act in a way that they know the other person finds attractive.
But they WON’T fundamentally pretend to be someone else.
For a guy this means being masculine, teasing a girl, learning to read and navigate her moods…
(all stuff I teach my clients, btw)
But it also means showing off the flavors of their unique self, not being some sort of “attractive guy” caricature. It means sharing interests… expressing values… not being afraid of being rejected.
It’s an integration of the two.
Which is why I love my analogy of Persona being sales, and Personality being product.
Some people loves sales because they love selling. They’ll sell anything.
These are the PUAs etc., guys who just care about gaming women.
Hard-sell door to door salesmen of the dating world.
In contrast good products usually can sell themselves (if they have good marketing at least — hence the value of Preselection like looks, status, wealth).
But plenty of good products don’t get sold because people suck at selling them.
Which guess what?
Sucks for both the buyer and the seller… since the market is missing out on a good thing.
So if you’re one of those “authentic” people who takes real issue with learning game (aka how women operate and how to hack this system) because you find it sleazy.
You’re doing it wrong.
So good luck with a great girl finding your value… and if you do, keeping her against all the competition.
I can tell you from experience game is responsible for keeping even highly compatible people attracted to each other.
You stop gaming your wife, you’ll lose her interest.
And some other guy who knows how to sell might just come along and steal her.
Point is that they can be integrated. And should.
But I know it ain’t easy to do fam.
Especially since a lot of you probably don’t even know game that well… especially the ethical variant.
What a shame.
Because if you did… you wouldn’t have a problem attracting or keeping your dream girl, wherever you are…
And you would actually be able to express yourself to women more, since you’d know how to frame even your “worst” features.
(Yes, good game allows you to turn your flaws into assets)
Well, the good news is pretty simple.I can teach you all of this.
I can turn your game from average to awesome.
And I can help you to become more authentic and less emotionally stunted at the same time.
You gotta pay.
Rapid progress has a price.
But it’s a cheap one based on the returns: www.patstedman.com/application