I turned 30 today.

I should probably have a multitude of “wisdom snippets” for all of you — various things I’ve learned over the years.

But I’m going to save those snippets for my clients.

The truth is what I’ve learned over over the past decade, since I started on this path of understanding attraction and how people work, is staggering.

I feel like I am just starting to hit the level of mastery.

I understand what is going on in male-female dynamics pretty much instantly. And the more I get to the core of what’s going on “under the hood,” the more results I’ve been able to shift for clients.

And yet — levels always exist beyond. So I’m going to take this opportunity to announce starting upon my return from France, I’ll be getting personal mentoring from one of the true elite in the industry.

I don’t know anybody who does what he does better. He’s a multi-millionaire for what he’s added to people’s lives — and unlike 95% of the wealthy “romance experts” he’s not a marketing hack, and his material actually warrants it.

I would be arrogant to say this would be the last step on a journey that never ends, but it’s certainly a major one.

A little digression while I’m on the topic…

As someone who has spent well into the 5 figures on personal development over my life, I think people are fools if they refuse to shell out to get areas of their life handled.

Time is invaluable. People compliment me for where I’m at in my life, and how I think, but I don’t just think about these things constantly, I invest in myself.

Which is why if you’ve got problems in your dating life / relationships, and you think I can help you, stop fucking around and sign up to work with me.

I don’t “push” people for sales, because I’m not cheap and I know it’s a lot for some people, but it needs to be said.

You will save years by working with someone who knows what they’re talking about.

The link is here: www.patstedman.com/application

/end pitch/

Anyway, where was I?

I am extremely optimistic about where things are going.

But I have to remember that 10 years ago, right as I turned 20, I was recently single after the end of my first relationship.

And I knew absolutely nothing about women.

Or myself.

I couldn’t have entered the decade more depressed. I felt like my life was over. I would never get a beautiful girl again.

I felt like a piece of shit.Which brings me to my lesson for you gentlemen.


Be fucking patient.

You don’t change yourself instantly. And you make mistakes on the path to change CONSTANTLY.

New ideas about what you should be doing can take an extremely long time to manifest.

(Yeah, some people switch instantly, but I’ll talk about some things I’ve observed about these people another time… and it’s not always pretty)

The point is face the right direction and walk.

And understand you won’t get there immediately.

I say this to clients even before we work together.

You might not see all the changes you want in the time we work together.

If a guy’s got a lot of baggage, changing the behavior around it could take a lot longer.

But it WILL get fixed… so long as he keeps what we worked on in his mind.

Things always get fixed so long as you focus on fixing them.

So be patient.

And if you’re 23, frustrated, and wish your dating life was better I congratulate you.

Lean into that frustration, take action, and stop worrying. You’ll fix it.


These days I care more about where I’ll be at 40, not in 4 months. I just enjoy the ride and things work out.

Anyway, gotta run. A fine luxurious dinner awaits me.

Which I will enjoy because I fucking deserve it.

A statement I couldn’t even imagine uttering at 20.

Until tomorrow morning, my friends.

– Pat