Personality work is polarizing in the dating community. Some people swear by it. Some write it off entirely.
A major reason for this divide comes down to fear.
Many people think personality is the be-all-end-all in romance because they are worried about coming across as sexist, and think personality conveniently writes-off gender.
“People are REALLY gender neutral,” they say. Behavior all comes down to type. To the extent that men and women are different on a population level, it’s culture — or to the sophisticated sophists, different proportions of type among each sex.
Others think type is irrelevant, or even dangerous. It’s just another hammer in the post-modern toolkit to undermine the differences between men and women.
“Women are all the same fundamentally” they say. Men too. Follow a prescriptive pattern of addressing their biological needs, and they will behave the same regardless of type. Type is a gateway drug to generic dating advice.
It always makes me laugh when people are afraid of such things. As they say in Dune, “Fear is a mind killer”. This is quite literally true. People who are afraid lose the ability to think.
The truth is simple. Men and women are different on a biological, sexual level. Some of this is hormones, some of this is DNA. This can’t be changed and it dramatically impacts how men and women behave. It also impacts what they’re attracted to.
But men and women are also, as individuals, different typologically. What does this mean?
According to Dario Nardi’s “Neuroscience of Personality,” it means that you not only have preferred areas of the brain for cognition but preferred “sequences” — aka patterns of using one area of the brain after another. Which areas and sequences you use most (the wiring of the brain infers there are 16), determines your type.
So now that we understand this, what can we infer?
From a hardware perspective, men and women are influenced by both biological (gender) and psychological (type) aspects.
These means that AWALT (all women are like that) is simultaneously true and untrue. Depending on what aspect you are looking at, that is.
All women, for instance, are looking for strong men who are confident and know how to lead. They are also looking for men who are above them or at least equal in looks and status.
Thus general game which plays off of female biology effectively works for all women.
(agree and amplify is a great universal technique for setting the frame)
But to get precise type must also come into consideration. Let me give you an example.
ENTJ and ESTJ are both types with inferior Fi (introverted feeling).
Now, not a lot of women are these types. These are usually in the case of the former your aggressive “alpha” females, and in the case of the latter, tomboys.
Both have suppressed feeling. They are used to thinking about everything from the position of maximum efficiency (Te, extroverted thinking).
But, everybody wants to be loved. Even if the thought of expressing that part of them makes them uncomfortable.
(Especially if that part of them makes them uncomfortable)
These girls are thus very responsive to comments that dig deep into their vulnerabilities. Not overtly, mind you. Sometimes you’ll get a rough reaction (you are probing a sensitive area, after all).
But they WILL think of you afterwords. You will get in their head. Because vulnerabilities (especially in the case of the former, ENTJs) are not something they like to be shown.
Now, a word of caution.
“Biological” game, what you see in most places, is important fundamentals… but child’s play compared to psychological game.
So if you are trying to pick up a girl, just use a sprinkling.
Because you’ll hurt people.
Psychological game, when done correctly, can make a girl feel like you understand her better than her boyfriend of 5 years. Use that to pump and dump and you’ll force girls to close up for good.
By the way, if your eyes are lighting up… it’s for good reason. Right now there’s not much out about this.
Which is one of the benefits of working with me.
One of my rare skillsets is the field of seduction.
And, if you become my protege, I’ll teach you everything I know.
Sign up here: www.patstedman.com/application