Develop Awareness. But Know It’s Only The Beginning.
You can ask me anything you want to know about dating.
You can read my posts, you can comment, you can tell me how it opened your mind up.
You can message me.
You can tell me your fears, problems, and aspirations.
I can listen.
You can ask me what to do… and I can tell you.
I can explain what you’re doing wrong. Where you need to change course.
And 90% of the time, I will watch you ignore it, fall into fear, and do exactly the opposite.
Advice Is Useless If Someone Isn’t Ready To Hear It. And Most Are Not.
There’s a famous stereotype about women: they like to talk about problems, but don’t care too much about solving them.
Sorry ladies, there is truth to it.
But when it comes to affairs of the heart, the boys are just as bad as the girls.
Men will make the same mistakes over and over when they are in love with a woman. If she’s not interested and treats them like shit, hooking up with other guys in front of them, they will complain when she does it – then run right back to “white knight” for her the second she has a problem.
They are good men, by and large.
But they are weak.
They prefer to live in a state of mediocrity or even pain; preferring a mindset of scarcity over abundance.
They do not want “advice;” they want to talk. They want reassurance.
They are not ready to jump.
They are not ready to change their lives.
Fine, Don’t Dive In. But At The Very Least Develop Awareness.
Look, it’s ok if you’re not taking the action in your life you know you need. I get it.
It’s not “good,” of course – I won’t mince words – but we all start somewhere.
In truth, most people don’t even get that far. They live in denial. So even if you are afraid to make any changes as of yet, at least you’re consciously aware of where you’re at.
I meet men all the time in day-to-day life who suck with women. Subconsciously they know it’s an issue – it haunts them when they go to bed each night. They know they can’t work up the courage to approach, or that women won’t give them the time of day. But their ego can’t fathom the prospect of addressing it. So they put it out of their mind.
Change, after all, requires giving up too many things – including, strangely, pain. It’s perverted, but pain over time can become comforting. They don’t want to let their “suck” go. They make up all sorts of excuses.
Money and time are usually the biggest ones.
And they’re also totally bogus.
For instance:
These guys will spend $50 on a Friday getting drunk but won’t pony up for a product or book which will change their understanding of their own world and what women think.
They’ll shell out a couple thousand dollars on a trip but not on a weekend immersion that will address their anxiety around women forever.
They’ll play video games all day, watch crappy TV series, read fantasy novels, do favors for girls / coworkers who are using them, but complain they’re too “busy”… to address the biggest thing bothering them in their life.
But, you know… priorities, bro.
Keep reading the free material, it’s all good. There’s a lot of life-changing stuff in there too.
Though none of it really matters if you don’t act on it, right?
You can sit around and have the same “realization” week after week, but is anything really changing?
Are you getting treated the way you want?
Do you still feel helpless?
Is this how your life is going to continue to be?
The Decision To Develop Awareness Is A Good Start. But If You Want Real Change, It Is Not Enough.
Develop awareness. It’s a good thing. But also understand: awareness is overhyped.
It’s value is simply that it shows you what you need to do.
An important step, no doubt, but not the final one.
If you don’t do anything, you will “forget” your realization… until you take in your next slow drip of information and realize it again.
Develop awareness without action and you will get nothing but a circle jerk of thoughts. You will think you’ve made progress when all you’ve really done is spun your wheels.
When you “realize” something, you next objective is NOT to think on it… it’s to find out how you can use that realization to productive ends.
It’s to take action.
Act, Or Stay The Same.
I was “aware” of what I needed to do with women for years. But until I actually DID it, my improvement with them was marginal.
This has been true in every other area of my life as well.
It doesn’t matter what you feel, it matters what you do.
Because what you do is who you are. Seek to develop awareness. You cannot change until your paradigm and understanding of yourself and the world around you changes.
But whenever you do become aware of something?
Act on it.
Otherwise that awareness will disappear, and your “transformational” experiences will fade into memories, not impacting your core self… or your future trajectory.
Many coaches talk about how all people really want is to “feel better.” But “feeling better” in the long-term requires action… and the truth is that action might make you feel worse in the short-term.
To develop awareness is not enough. To “feel better” now is not enough.
You must act upon awareness to make your life truly different.
Suck it up and start doing it today.
– Pat
PS While you may be able to develop awareness on your own, not everybody is good at acting or creating momentum for themselves afterwords. Sometimes, like a kid learning to ride a bike, you need a push – someone to guide you at first. I get it – I was the same way. That’s why I do coaching that changes men’s lives. Find out if it’s right for you.