It’s no secret: one of the main reasons guys reach out to me is my specialty in deep work.

Unlike a lot of coaches in dating and relationships, I don’t just stick to tactics.I don’t simply show you what to do, but how to THINK.

Because doing well with women on a fundamental level is about BELIEFS — not theory, not following some script that tells you to do “X or Y.”

Which is why I help the overwhelming majority of my clients move through issues that have plagued them for years, sometimes decades in a mere 3-6 months.

But the truth is that “deep work” isn’t always what a client needs most.

Indeed, sometimes focusing on it can be a BAD thing.

Especially when the focus becomes so much on deep work, that action is brushed to the side.

PUAs and “gamers” scoff at the “deep work” coaching for this reason. To them it is all about DRILLING — go out there, get your reps in, burn down your approach anxiety.And they have a point.

Because beliefs are a product of feedback.

You can talk about a problem, bring awareness to why it exists. And examining these roots can help.

But unless you are engaging the problem through action, you are not going to shift the belief.

There is an “energy” aspect to this, of course. When you are moving, when you are doing, you are affecting the negative, stagnant behavior that existed and was feeding the belief.

(stuff I talk about in my masterclass)

But the big part about taking action isn’t even so much the results (which at first are often terrible), but what you’ve shown YOURSELF that you can do.

It’s a sign that you have stepped into a state of COURAGE.

And it’s from this place of courage that transformations happen.

Now, of course this isn’t the full picture. Courage is a catalyst… but the deep work matters because the beliefs DO need to change, and action on its own isn’t so good at taking away lessons.

Which is why ideally, and in the work that I do, there’s a give-and-take.

We talk, and THEN after action has occurred, we talk again.

It’s not therapy where it’s only talk, talk, talk.

And it’s not a bootcamp where it’s only do, do, do.

It’s action and reflection.

Because action creates the energy that allows beliefs to be shifted in reflection.

Anyway, a lot of this stuff is best suited for coaching.

But if you want to dip your toes in the water first…

You can buy my masterclass here:

– Pat